


A little less 'Pretty in Pink' a little more 'Lil Red Riding Hood'

by KeepGoing



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Laura Hale, Alternate Universe - High School, Derek is a werewolf, M/M, Nerdy Stiles, Scott is human, The fire still happened, derek is in high school but older, laura dissaproves, mysterious Derek, scott and allison still find eachother, scott and stiles epic friendship, scott is so confused, sheriff doesnt trust derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 18:41:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3219395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeepGoing/pseuds/KeepGoing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a distance this may look like your typical High School romance. </p><p>Stiles; the nerdy Senior with perfect grades, acceptance into his dream college and his own nerdy best friend, Scott; falls for Derek; the mysterious leather jacket wearing, perfect facial hair sporting, with a dark past. Together they embark on a romance that slowly evolves from deep stares, broken jeeps, and video games into feelings possibly too complex for either of them to understand. But when you get closer, you see this story is far more complicated with deep loss, Sheriff fathers, disapproving sisters, full moons, and secrets that could destroy everything.</p><p>John Hughes did not write this love story. Derek and Stiles are writing their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A little less 'Pretty in Pink' a little more 'Lil Red Riding Hood'

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought I'd write a HS AU. When I read fanfic, I usually stick to Canon readings. But music is a very big inspiration of mine and after hearing "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus, it just hit me. This fic needed to be written. Maybe its been done before. Maybe the HS AU is overdone. Perhaps, but this fic is my baby and I am so damn proud of it. 
> 
> I want to give a huge thanks to Halecrest (aka Catarina) for the amazing job she did beta'ing for me. She made this fic even better than I could have imagined with her encouragement and talking me through parts I just didn't think sounded right. And to Marple Juice for her incredible artistic ability and picking me up for Art when I was left hanging. Her dedication to turning this fic into pictures you can relate to and gaze upon has put even more pride into this work for me. *hugs*  
>  **Her amazing art master post can be found here:** http://archiveofourown.org/works/3218036
> 
>  **There is also a soundtrack that goes with this fic that can be found on 8tracks here:** https://8tracks.com/keepgoinghale/a-little-less-pretty-in-pink-a-little-more-lil-red-riding-hood
> 
>  **There is also a trailer on youtube my the amazing MarpleJuice:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOHMVWApwsE
> 
>  
> 
> With that being said, Enjoy! And comments are love <3

 

[Don't forget to visit the art masterpost here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3218036)

* * *

 

 

[Trailer for this fic by MarpleJuice on youtube! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOHMVWApwsE&feature=youtu.be)

 

 

[Soundtrack on 8-tracks!](http://8tracks.com/keepgoinghale/a-little-less-pretty-in-pink-a-little-more-lil-red-riding-hood)

 

 

_Cause I’m just a teenage dirt bag baby..._

 

“Have you seen _her_?” Scott whispers loudly as he slams himself down on the chair across from Stiles at the lunch table. His backpack hits the table loudly, spilling Stiles’ can of soda all over his tray. Stiles looks through long lashes and up at his best friend with a scowl on his face. He sighs.

“Seen who, exactly?” He asks, moving his French fries away from the puddle of Coke inching toward them.

“Allison!” Scott exclaims excitedly.

“And that is who?” Stiles looks back down at the book he had been thoroughly enjoying before Scott so rudely interrupted him.

“The new girl.” Scott sighs, looking around the lunch area. “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Uh, huh.” Stiles grabs a fry and continues to read. “Last week you thought that girl Kira was the ‘most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen’, remember that?”

“Dude, I’m _SERIOUS_. Oh my God, there she is!” Scott whispers loudly, again, and points over Stiles’ shoulder toward the courtyard. Stiles turns slightly in his chair and looks behind him. He laughs.

“Good luck with that, dude. She’s with Lydia Martin.” Stiles shoots his best friend since kindergarten down.

“So!?”

“So?” Stiles turns back to him. “It’s _LYDIA MARTIN_. Queen Bee herself? She thinks we are dirt on the bottom of her Prada shoes.”

“She doesn’t even know who we are!” Scott argues.

“Exactly.” Stiles turns back to his book.

“You’re gonna be a loser forever in this school with an attitude like that.” Scott tells him. Stiles doesn't even rebut with an answer or excuse. Scott is right. But he likes it like that.

Stiles shrugs and continues to read. Yeah, Scott is his only friend. Yes, he gets straight A’s and doesn’t belong to any clubs or sports team. No, he’s never had a girlfriend. Or boyfriend for that matter. Yes, he’s almost 18 and never kissed anyone.

He’s fine with that.

Okay, maybe he’s not.

“I’ll have you know I am perfectly content with my loser status.” Stiles lies. “And who needs tons of friends, a significant other, or popularity when I have you?” He wiggles his eyebrows at Scott.

But Scott is ignoring him. He’s staring longingly at Allison. Stiles sighs heavily but quickly tenses when he notices _him_.

Grumpy Mcgrumperson himself, Derek Hale. Sitting alone at the table across from them. And he’s STARING at Stiles, as usual, with this constipated look on his face. He always looks in pain. Or angry. Like he’s about to maim someone at any moment. With his leather jacket, full beard that no one in high school should even have, and mysterious past and family life that makes him the talk of the school along with the object of every girl’s affection.

But as far as Stiles knows he’s never dated anyone. There was a rumor about a teacher when he was a sophomore, but no one has ever gotten any confirmation on that.

So Derek sits alone at lunch, usually, unless Isaac Lahey decides to grace Beacon Hills High School with his presence that day.

But this is a thing him and Derek have. They stare at one another. But they’ve never spoken.

“Talk about lost causes.” Scott’s voice wakens him from the power of Derek Hale’s eyes. “That dude looks like he could rip your throat out with his teeth.”

Stiles glares at his best friend. “You don’t even know him.”

“Exactly. And I like it that way. Derek is bad news. Just because you have some weird crush on him-”

“I do not have a crush on him. He just looks at me sometimes.” Stiles frowns.

“Yeah, cause he’s plotting how to murder you.” Scott smirks, snatching one of Stiles’ fries from his tray.

Stiles laughs, shaking his head and slaps Scott’s hand. He looks back at the lunch table across from him.

Derek is gone.

* * *

 

_Hey there Little Red Riding Hood, You sure are looking good. You're everything a big bad wolf could want..._

 

“Wanna head out to the preserve after school?” Isaac’s voice barrels through Derek’s ears like a freight train. He winces visibly.

“No. I don’t.”

“Come on, man. What are you gonna do? Go home and read?” Isaac whines.

“Yes.” Derek keeps his eyes fixated down the hall at the lanky, pale skinned kid with that damn red sweatshirt, talking to Scott McCall, who is staring at the new girl Allison, who in turn is laughing at something Lydia Martin is saying, who has her arm linked with Jackson Whittemore. The whole scene is making his skin crawl but he can’t keep his eyes off this kid.

“You’re so weird.” Isaac mumbles.

“So I hear.” Derek snaps back.

The skinny kid smiles and plays with the string of his hood and Derek’s pulse races.

What is wrong with him? He could have any girl, or guy probably, in this school, not because he thinks he’s anything special but everyone else seems to think he is just because he chooses not to belong to any group at school or play any sports, or maybe it’s because he actually gets good grades in all his classes. It makes him some kind of enigma. Some puzzle for girls to figure out. A conquest for them to conquer.

Derek wants no part of it.

He just wants someone...to listen.

“Are you listening to me?” Isaac bumps his shoulder.

“Huh?” Derek breaks his staring for a moment to look at his kind-of-sort-of friend.

“Never mind, dude. You are somewhere else today. I’ll catch you later. I’m gonna go find Erica.” Derek watches as Isaac winks at a few girls along the hall as he goes to try to find his girlfriend. Derek turns back to look down the hallway.

Stiles is gone.

* * *

 

_What big eyes you have, the kind of eyes that drive wolves mad. So just to see that you don't get chased, I think I ought to walk with you for a ways..._

 

Stiles hits Scott’s name on his cell phone and listens as it rings over the speaker into the warm afternoon air. He frowns at the smoke whiffling through the hood of his Jeep. What an awesome day this has turned out to be.

He hears Scott’s chipper voice as his voicemail picks up and then he groans. “Seriously?”

His dad is at work, and even though he COULD technically come help him, he is the sheriff after all, he really wasn’t in the mood to hear his dad lecture him about how having the Jeep is a privilege and how he needs to take better care of his things and blah, blah.

He taps the screen on his phone, thinking if there is anyone else. There isn’t. All he has is Scott and his dad.

Maybe he can figure this out. It’s probably overheating right, if smoke is coming out of it? Maybe it just needs water.

“Fuck,” Stiles mutters to himself. “It’s not a goddamn dog.”

And of course he took the back roads home from school today that no one ever takes but his own dumb ass. But he likes the ride. It clears his head and gives him time to think.

Like about today for example, where AGAIN Derek Hale was just staring at him. He wishes he had enough balls to just yell at him from across his lunch table one day. What he’d say he doesn't know because anything might set Derek off. He’s heard stories of bloodied fights and broken bones. Poor casualties of saying the wrong thing to him at the wrong time and some kid meeting his demise at the hands of Derek Hale, the beast.

Big strong hands. Long fingers. Fingers that would feel amazing around-

“Do you need help?”

Stiles screams, throwing his hands, arms and phone all around his truck. He stares wide eyed and open mouthed at the figure standing outside his driver’s window with a cringing look.

It’s fucking Derek.

“What? I...how the hell did you find me?”

Derek gives him a confused look. “What? Find you? I was driving and saw you pulled over with smoke coming out of your engine.” He pauses, eyebrow arched. “Do you think I’m stalking you?”

“No! Absolutely not. Not me. Why would you stalk me?! I mean...” Stiles pauses. “Do you even know who I am?”

Derek rolls his eyes. “Pop the hood. Let me take a look.”

Stiles does what he says, watching as Derek removes his leather jacket, laying it gently on the grass next to the Jeep and moves to front of the vehicle. Stiles opens his door, nearly falling onto the ground trying to get out. Is this really happening right now? Is Derek Hale trying to fix his car?

“When’s the last time you put any coolant in here?” Derek grumbles, turning some knob inside the engine.

“Um...never?”

Derek literally growls and closes the hood. “It’s gonna have to be towed. I know a guy. I’ll call him for you.”

“Oh.” Stiles nods. “Um, thanks, man.”

Derek nods, pulling out his cell phone, if you can even call it that because it’s a fucking flip phone. What year is this, 1995? Derek paces up the road as he talks low into the phone, Stiles unable to hear him. He’s not sure he would listen even if he could hear though, because he’s watching his ass in those tight jeans, swallowing hard with each long stride of those legs.

Stiles has realized in these past few months, after his obsession with Lydia Martin finally dissipated, that he in fact enjoyed the features of men much better. Their broad shoulders. Their scruff. Their piercing green eyes.

Okay, so maybe he just enjoyed the features of DEREK much better. Either way, he is finding it incredibly hard not to stare at the muscles in Derek’s back barely hidden through his tight black t-shirt. Or the curve of his hips as they meet his ass.

Oh shit. He’s in trouble.

Derek could and will probably kill him if he knew he was having these kinds of thoughts. The dude’s probably the most homophobic person out there. Seriously, just look at him. He has pussy-eater written all over him.

He’d watch straight porn if Derek was in it. He totally would. As long as Derek was naked. And giving it to some girl. As long as Stiles could see his dick which is probably huge and-

“Stiles?”

Stiles awakens from his elaborate fantasy to find Derek standing in front of him, brow creased and cell phone in hand.

“Uh, hey sorry. I do that sometimes. Space out, I mean.”

Derek snorts. “Yeah, I kinda noticed.”

“Yeah, I’ve been doing it since I was a kid, I have pretty bad ADHD and...wait. You noticed? How...why did you notice?” Stiles asks.

Derek’s mouth tightens. “The tow truck will be here in 30 minutes. We can wait and then I’ll give you a lift home. I mean, if you want me to.”

“I could walk, dude. I mean it’s not too far...” Stiles looks up the road, trying to guesstimate how long it would take him to get home on foot. “I’ll just cut through the woods.”

“NO!” Derek yells. Stiles jumps. “I mean, no it’s ok. I’ll just drive you.”

“Um...okay.” Stiles pauses. “Why you are you being so nice?”

“You don't think I can be nice?” Derek asks, almost hurt.

Of course not. This guy is like an icicle. Same expression every day of his life. He isn’t even sure Derek is human with his incapable capacity for feelings.

“Well, no. Not really. I mean you don't talk to anyone at school-”

“Yeah, well, we’re not at school.” Derek interrupts.

“-except that hoodlum, Isaac.” Stiles finishes.

“He’s not a hoodlum.” Derek mumbles. “He’s just got a bad home life.”

“Oh.” Stiles frowns. “Sorry.”

Derek sighs. “Listen, I wasn't just going to leave you stranded on the side of the road. I saw you, I helped.”

Stiles accepts his reasoning with an: “Ok. Thanks.”

Derek leans against the Jeep, pushing his boot deep into the dirt. “I’m not an asshole, you know.”

“I...” Stiles cannot even process any of this right now. Derek is TALKING to him. About...himself. For a long time he thought Derek Hale was mute. “I didn't say you were. But I’ve heard stories, and stuff.”

Derek looks out into the woods through the trees. “Don’t believe everything you hear, okay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

 

_Something about having everything you think you’ll ever need, sitting in the seat next to you..._

 

This isn't how Derek planned to spend the rest of his afternoon. But as he traveled down the back roads, he instantly heard it. The rapid, faster than normal, heartbeat just up ahead. And of course he knew the truck was Stiles’; it sticks out like a fucking sore thumb; so yes, he pulled over. Yes, he called him in a favor for a tow. And yes, he offered to drive him home.

Stiles is fidgeting with the radio stations and rocking his foot back and forth, making the Camaro shake.

“Stop that.” Derek growls. Stiles stills.

“Stop what?” He asks as if he knows he’s doing a bunch of different annoying things all at once.

“All of it.”

He nods and sits back, looking out the window at the passing forest of Beacon Hills. Derek continues to his house down the back roads. He likes them. Gives him time to think.

And it takes longer.

Not that it matters to Derek how long he’s in a car with Stiles. Nope. Not one bit.

He feels the heat form on his face and all over his skin at the thought. He sneaks a look out of the corner of his eye. Stiles is staring at him.

“What?” He snarls.

“Your facial hair is like, perfect. Do you like, trim it every day to get it to look like this?” Stiles asks, poking at this cheek.

Is this kid for real?

“Just because you can't grow any...” Derek grumbles, not even bothering to finish his sentence.

“Aha! A joke! You do have a sense of humor. I knew it!” Stiles falls back against the seat. He stares out the windshield. “How do you know where I live?”

“I don’t. I was waiting for you to tell me. We’ve been driving in circles for 20 minutes.” Derek rolls his eyes.

“You’re an idiot. Turn left.”

Stiles barks directions at him for the next 3 minutes until he finally screams “THIS IS IT!” in front of a blue house with white shutters. Derek looks up, searching the upstairs windows for what could be Stiles’ room.

“So yeah, thanks again for everything.” Stiles says, fingers curling on the door handle.

Derek nods.

“No seriously, that was really cool of you. My whole image of you is blown.” Stiles reassures him.

Derek just nods.

“Filled your quota of words today? Got it. So yeah, see you at school or whatever.”

Stiles is out of the Camaro and inside his house in a matter of seconds. This kid has a lot of energy and Derek can barely keep up with his thoughts, let alone his energy. He watches as the front door closes and within a minute an upstairs light goes on. He can see Stiles opening up his laptop which sits on his desk in front of the window.

By the time Stiles looks out his window, Derek is gone.

* * *

 

_You got a fast car..._

 

Stiles twirls the numbers on his locker, opening it and shoving his book bag deep inside. Grabbing his Chemistry book and looking left down the hallway, he scans to see if he can catch sight of Scott. Wait until he tells him about the odd night he had last night. See, Stiles would have called his best friend to tell him about what happened with Derek, but he was too busy looking up every picture of Derek he had in every yearbook he can as far back as he could go. He noticed that Derek hit a growth spurt a few years back. Right after the fire.

Stiles doesn't know much about it. Just that there was a fire a few years back, killing his parents and some other members of his family. His one sister survived, and he thinks Derek lived with her for a while, but now he hears he lives alone in some apartment downtown.  Stiles supposes since Derek’s older he can do that. He isn’t quite sure exactly how old Derek is. But he is definitely older than 18.

Stiles googled about the fire, finding out that it was arson and they never found who did it.

_“Hey, dad?” Stiles yelled to his dad when he heard him walk by his room the night before._

_“Yeah, kiddo?”_

_“They never solved the Hale fire case, did they?”_

_The Sheriff stepped into his son’s room. “No. Sadly not.” He paused. “Why do you ask?”_

_Stiles shrugged. “Derek Hale was the one who helped me today. He got my Jeep towed for me and gave me a ride home.”_

_“Stiles, be careful. I’ve heard things about him. Bad things.” His father warned him._

_“Probably not as bad as the things I’ve heard.” Stiles argued. “It’s okay. He was...nice. I think he just has a bad rep.”_

_“People don't get bad reps for nothing.”_

_Stiles shrugged it off. “Its fine, dad. It’s not like we are friends.”_

_“Good. Because I don't think he’s the kind of friend you need to have. Now, Scott, he’s a good friend to have.” His father reminded him._

_“Scott is the only friend I have.” Stiles mumbled._

Stiles awakens from his memory by the sound of the bell. He just isn’t in the mood for school today. He’s been off since yesterday afternoon, unable to get Derek Hale and everything he encompasses out of his head.

He slams his locker shut and jumps 2 feet in the air when he sees Derek leaning against the row of lockers right next him. His brow is furrowed.

“Jesus Christ!” Stiles yells.

“Hey.”

“Hey? Hey?” Stiles asks.

“....Hello?” Derek begins again.

That Derek Hale. King of conversation.

“Why are you talking to me? Like, in public?”

Derek rolls his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic. I talk to people.”

“No, you don’t. And especially don't talk to me.”

“We’ve been through this already, remember?” Derek reminds him.

“But you never told me WHY.” Stiles leans in a little to emphasize his question.

Derek shrugs. “Trying new things, I guess.”

“What, by befriending the school nerd?”

“You’re not a nerd.” Derek quickly tells him. “Just because you’re smart, it doesn't make you a nerd.”

Wait a second. Is Derek Hale, complimenting him? Is it a full moon or something?

“You forgot: no friends, I don’t play any sports and I’ve never had a girlfriend.” _Or boyfriend,_ Stiles silently adds.

“You have friends. You hang out with that McCall kid all the time.”

“Scott. His name is Scott, and how the hell do you know who he is?” Stiles demands.

“I know everyone.”

Stiles watches as a group of girls walk past them, smiling, waving and blowing kisses at Derek. Stiles groans.

“And who are they then?” Stiles raises an eye brow at him. Derek doesn’t answer. He just scowls at him.

“Right. Listen, I gotta get to class. Are we done here?”

“You wanna like, get out of here?” Derek asks.

“Get out...? You mean skip school?” Stiles whispers loudly, looking around to make sure no one heard him.

“Yeah.” Derek gives him an odd look. “You’ve never skipped school before?”

“No! Not everyone is a juvenile delinquent like yourself.”

“I’m not a juvenile. I’m...older.  And I’ll have you know, contrary to what you may have heard, I’ve never been arrested.” Derek tells him.

“That’s comforting,” Stiles says sarcastically, but he starts to think about it. It’s tempting. They only have like a month left. What’s one day of missed school really going to do? Besides, when was the last time he skipped school with someone like Derek Hale? Never, that’s when.

“Okay. Let’s go. But if we get caught I’m saying you kidnapped me and that perfect record of yours is gonna be tarnished. And you’ll be tried as an adult ‘cause you’re...older.” Stiles makes quotation marks in the air. “Whatever that means, Mr. Vague. And let’s not forget my dad is the Sheriff so if one hair on my head gets damaged-”

“Do you always talk this much?” Derek growls, grabbing Stiles by the arm of his flannel shirt, looking up and down the hallway, before dragging him down to the side door by the back parking lot.

“Not all of us are the strong, silent, mysterious type like yourself.” Stiles doesn’t even try to make it quiet this time as Derek opens the passenger side door of the Camaro.

“Get inside before I regret doing this.” He shoves Stiles inside and slams the door.

“Rude. This shirt is new!” Stiles yells.

To no one.

* * *

 

_Cause I am hanging on every word you say..._

 

“This is where you go when you skip school?” Stiles asks, stepping out of the Camaro and looking around at the tall trees beginning to bloom their summer leaves.

“What did you think I did?” Derek appears at his side, hands deep in his jeans pocket.

Stiles flails at him. “I don’t know. Something cool. Drag racing. Stealing. An amusement park. Not...the woods. Unless...are we gonna like, shoot bottles or something off a fence?” Stiles voice gets higher as his excitement elevates.

“I don't own a gun. And no one does that anymore. Unless you live in Alabama.” Derek starts to walk deep into the woods, pushing branches out of his way and holding them there so Stiles can pass.

Stiles finds this...rather adorable.

They walk pretty far in, silent the whole time. It’s just before they reach a wide opening that Stiles realizes where Derek is leading him.

He sees it up ahead and his stomach instantly fills with butterflies. “Derek...” He reaches up to grab Derek’s shoulder. “I...”

“It’s ok.” Derek nods. “Come on.”

When they reach the clearing, Stiles swallows hard and just stares at Derek the whole time. He watches as Derek’s shoulders tense as he stares at the charred and broken down house.

His house.

Well, what used to be Derek’s house.

“This is what you do?” Stiles fights the urge to get closer to him. “Derek...”

“I know you may think it’s morbid. But it actually makes me feel better. Makes me feel like I’m close to them. I was actually considering rebuilding it.” He looks back at Stiles. “It’s my home.”

Stiles feels his eyes swell with tears. “I...don't know what to say.” He pauses, brushing the tears away before they can fall. “Why did you bring me here?”

Derek looks back at the house. “I’m not quite sure. Maybe because I knew somehow you’d understand.” He eyes Stiles out of the corner of his eye. “You know what it’s like to lose someone.”

Stiles does. His mother. When he was 10.

“How did you know?” Stiles whispers. Derek doesn't look at him.

“I pay attention.”

Stiles touches Derek’s back and instead of feeling Derek tense even more, he feels him actually relax. They both just breathe for a while, Stiles allowing the boy in front of him to get whatever comfort he needs out of this. After a while, Derek finally turns, his head cocked to the side at Stiles.

“I’m starving. Wanna head out to Burger Zone on Route 22?” He asks.

Burger Zone is this amazing burger place about an hour from Beacon Hills. But they have the best burgers. Like, ever.

“Now that’s my idea of ditching school. Let’s go!” Stiles hops and then starts to run back through the woods to Derek’s Camaro.

It’s the first time Stiles has ever heard Derek laugh.

* * *

 

_Maybe we can make a deal; Maybe together we can get somewhere..._

 

“Dude, you didn't have to pay. I have money.” Stiles tells Derek as they climb back into the Camaro after stuffing themselves with bacon cheeseburgers, curly cheese fries and milkshakes. Stiles got strawberry. Derek got vanilla.

“I made you skip school. So I paid.” Derek starts the Camaro but doesn't put it into drive.

“You didn't make me do anything. I was a willing participant in this illegal act.”

“We did nothing illegal. We’re fucking graduating in a month. We get good grades, don't get in trouble. Fuck it.” Derek grumbles.

“True. But my dad, on the other hand, might consider this a first degree kidnapping.” Stiles reminds his new...friend?

This whole thing is way confusing. He has no idea what the hell he is doing with Derek Hale.

“Thought you just said you were a willing participant?”

“Oh! I am. Totally, dude. But my dad...he’s a bit...” Stiles is trying to find the right word.

“He’s the Sheriff. It’s his job to be protective of you, Stiles.”

It’s the first time Derek has said his name and it literally takes his breath away. What. Is. Happening?

“I guess.” Stiles swallows. “Okay, where to now?”

Derek cocks an eyebrow. “Um, home?”

“Aw, come on, man. It’s only like, 1. We have the whole afternoon left. Let’s do something fun!” Stiles pleads.

Derek sighs, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to think of something they can do to entertain this boy. “I’m not sure what else makes you happy.” Derek admits.

“Well, you did well so far with the cheeseburger.” Stiles playfully punches Derek in the shoulder.

“I have video games at my apartment.” Derek tells him shifting his eyes toward him.

Stiles smiles. “God of War?”

Derek rolls his eyes. “Of course.” He puts the car into drive and begins the long but calm ride back to Beacon Hills. Stiles hums along to the radio the entire way, shaking his foot.

This time it doesn't bother Derek.

* * *

 

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream..._

 

Stiles opens the door to his house around 7 o'clock that night. He played video games with Derek for about 4 hours and ate enough junk food to last him the next month. He’s full. And smiling.

This alarms his father.

“Where have you been?” He asks, drying his hand on a dish towel as he appears from in the kitchen.

“Uh, just playing video games with Scott.” Stiles says quickly. His father narrows his eyes.

“Mmm, hmmm.”

“What?” Stiles asks, kicking off his sneakers in the foyer.

“You seem...happier than usual.”

“Do I? Maybe I’m just excited about graduating. You know, going off to college, starting my life!” Stiles nods, smiling.

His dad peers at him. “You’re up to something. And I’m gonna figure out what it is.”

“Me?” Stiles points at himself. “No way, dad. Being Sheriff has made you paranoid. Everything is peachy keen.” With that he runs up the stairs, taking two steps at a time.

He closes his bedroom door and leans against it; his heart racing. Something was happening. He was smiling. Like he couldn't stop. And he felt light. And happy.

And he couldn't get Derek out of his head. He thought for a really long time he was in love with Lydia Martin. Her strawberry blonde hair that fell perfectly around her shoulders and her big eyes. But no, that was infatuation. He doesn't know Lydia. Lydia has no idea who he even is.

But Derek; he’s getting to know Derek now. Derek can smile. He can laugh. He has a past. But he has a future too. And he makes Stiles feel...something. Something he’s never felt. Something different. Like maybe he’s not a loser after all.

Derek sees him. In ways not even Scott can.

His cell phone buzzes in his pocket and he sighs, realizing it’s probably Scott who would have noticed by now he wasn't in school and wondering where the hell he’s been all day. He clicks the text message button and furrows his brow at the unknown number.

**_949-527-2225_ **   
_Your dad find out you skipped?_

It’s Derek. Stiles didn't think when he put his number in Derek’s phone; making grabby hands at it in the school parking lot before climbing into his jeep to go home; that he would text him that quickly.

He eagerly types back.

_Nah, it’s all good._

He hits send and then quickly types:

_You get home ok?_

He programs Derek’s name into his phone just as it vibrates seconds later.

_Yup._

Stiles finds himself smiling and he giggles, actually giggles, and throws himself onto his bed, face first, clutching his phone.

Oh, he is so screwed.

* * *

 

_My heart stops when you look at me..._

 

“Wait a second.” Scott follows Stiles into the school the next morning. “You skipped school?”

Stiles smiles and nods. “Yup.”

“But...why?” Scott gives him the most confused look.

Stiles shrugs. “Just felt like it. I went down to the preserve...just, you know. Had some me time.”

Scott still looks confused.

“Scotty, its ok. Just needed a day off. It’s no big deal. My dad didn't find out and I’m good...” He trails off when he sees Derek walk in through the back door of the school, leathered up and Christ, fucking beautiful. Their eyes meet and Derek gives him a small nod. Stiles smiles.

“Look, dude, I gotta go. But lunch, right? I wanna hear about your plan to seduce Allison!” Stiles pats Scott’s shoulder before practically running up the hallway to catch up with Derek who has ducked down one of the side hallways. When he turns the corner he literally crashes into Derek’s chest. His firm, hard, chest.

“OW! Fuck.” Stiles rubs his face.

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to be running in the hall?” Derek cocks an eyebrow at him, half smirking.

“You with the jokes. Who would have thought you’d be witty?”

Derek snorts and turns to head down the hallway. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“Me?” Stiles asks.

“No, the other guy walking next to me. Yes, you.”

“Uh, nothing, probably. My dad’s pulling doubles so it’s video games, junk food and porn.”

Derek stiffens at the mention of porn and Stiles becomes curious. Maybe all the rumors are just that. Rumors. Maybe he’s a prude.

“Do you want company?” Derek offers softly. He stops outside Chemistry and leans against the wall, looking at Stiles for an answer.

“Yes! I mean, yeah sure. Sounds cool. Let’s say Saturday. My house? 2pm? If you wanna crash at my house it’s cool. Scott couches it all the time when we do Xbox marathons.”

Derek nods and turns into the classroom door with one swift movement. Stiles’ heart is hammering away in his chest.

He is so screwed.

Because Derek is so straight.

And Stiles is so very gay for him.

* * *

 

_I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify the voices in my head, God which one's you?_

 

Derek can hear his heartbeat as Stiles heads down the hall toward his own class. Econ. Not that Derek knows his schedule.

What is he doing? He has no idea. He knows he shouldn't get close to anyone. He made that mistake once. Never again.

But something about Stiles just...lures him in. He’s addicted to something about him. The way he smiles. The way he flails around, all limbs and hands. The smell he gives off when...

Christ. Derek is so screwed.

Laura would freak if she knew he was hanging around a human. Like this.

Derek isn’t even sure he is...you know. Gay. He’s been with girls but never a guy. Not that he hasn't had the chance. Guys throw themselves at him just as badly as girls do. But it’s always the jocks who swear they aren't gay but then try to grab his crotch in the locker room when everyone else is gone. Derek isn't interested in any of that.

But he’s interested in Stiles.

Pale, scrawny, hyper, Stiles.

He didn't sleep last night. All he kept thinking about was how easily he just opened up to Stiles. He freaking brought him to his burnt down house for Pete’s sake. And Stiles didn't get freaked out. Somehow he knew...Stiles would get it. He knows Stiles’ mother died back when they were in grammar school. He knows all the classes he missed because of it. He knows about Stiles’ panic attacks.

Derek knows a lot.

But he wants to know more.

He watched Stiles for a long time before he ever had the nerve to talk to him. He felt it on his skin one day when he saw him in the hallway. The prickle of heat. The gravitational pull toward this person he had gone to school with for almost his entire life.

His mother told him one day, when he hit the age, he would feel it.

And he does.

And of course it’s a human.

But he has to listen to his sister. No attachments. Not until he gets to New York to be with her pack. Then he’d find a mate.

And not a human.

Not some boy.

But for now it doesn't hurt to have a friend until he graduates.

No matter how some boy makes him feel.

Christ. Derek is so screwed.

* * *

 

 _See I remember we were driving, driving in your car, the speed so fast I felt like I was drunk._ _City lights lay out before us and I had a feeling that I belonged; I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone..._

 

Stiles taps his pen against his notebook and stares down at his Econ book spread across his desk and sighs as the same sentence he’s been rereading for an hour haunts him. He can't concentrate on homework right now. All he can think about is how Derek Hale is going to be at his house this weekend. Alone.

And possibly sleeping over. In his house. In pajamas. Maybe Derek sleeps naked. Maybe he can get Derek to sleep naked in his-

The beep of his cell phone makes him jump, knocking his notebook and pen onto the floor.

“Christ. Simmer down, Stiles. It’s just a text message.” He opens it.

**Derek:**   
_Come outside._

Stiles eyes widen and he’s out of his chair, down the stairs and through the front door in 2 seconds flat. There’s Derek, leaning against the Camaro, arms crossed.

“Where are your shoes?” He asks as Stiles approaches him.

“Uh.” Stiles looks down. Oh right, shoes. Shoes are usually good.

“Get in.” Derek goes around the car and opens the driver’s side door.

“I don’t have shoes on.” Stiles reminds him but can’t help but walk closer to the car.

“Doesn’t matter. Get in.”

Stiles does and click his seat belt into place, never taking his eyes off of Derek. Derek doesn't look at him. He just starts the car and begins to drive.

“Where are we going?”

“Around.”

“That’s not vague or anything.” Stiles mumbles.

“Just needed some air. Thought maybe you’d want a break from studying. I can bring you back if you want.” Derek glances at him.

“No, it’s cool.” He looks at Derek. “How did you know I was studying?”

“’Cause your grades are ridiculously amazing and even thought you probably got into one of the best schools in the country you feel the need to ace your Econ final.” Derek smirks. “How am I doing so far?”

“Eerily well. And Stanford. I got into Stanford.”

“I rest my case then.”

There's silence for a while as Derek takes back roads through Beacon Hills, passing miles and miles of woods on either side of them. He’s going way above the speed limit but Stiles just leans his head back and watches the white dashes go by at fast speeds.

“Okay, my turn.” He finally speaks up. Derek wraps his long fingers around the steering wheel tighter.

“Your turn for what?” He sneaks a peek at the boy sitting next to him.

“My turn to read you like a book.”

Derek laughs. “Okay, try it.”

Stiles taps his finger against his chin. “You act like you like being alone –living in that apartment all by yourself– but the truth is, you’re lonely. You don't let anyone get close to you because you’re afraid of making attachments because of what happened with your family. That rumor about the substitute teacher was true –you actually thought you loved her– but she hurt you, which just reinforces your whole ’don't get close to anyone’ thing. You’re smart. As smart as me, maybe smarter because you have that whole survival thing down. I bet you applied to really good colleges too and I bet you got in too but you never even opened the letters.  Family is the most important thing to you which is why I bet you’re going to go wherever your sister is. You like the idea of people being afraid of you –you actually kinda get off on it– but the attention from the girls in our school makes you sick.” He pauses to look at Derek who is pale as a ghost and white knuckling the steering wheel. “How am I doing so far?”

Derek swallows. “Not even close.” He chokes out.

* * *

 

_Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep..._

 

Saturday comes with Stiles waking up even before his father. His eyes spring open a little before 6am, his heart racing. He’s hanging out with Derek today. Alone in his house. He throws the blankets off his legs and heads into the shower.

He may or may not have spent a particularly longer time in the shower than usual. Cleaning areas of his body he normally doesn't pay extra attention to because no one else pays extra attention to them so what’s the point, really?

Not that he expects Derek to pay extra attention to them. Nope. He’s coming over for video games and junk food. And pizza. Stiles definitely needs pizza.

He dresses in his best jeans –dark ones with a hole in the knee-. Danny, the out and proud gay guy at school, once told him his ass looked amazing in them.

So they are definitely the jeans he is wearing.

When Stiles’ cell begins to ring in his pocket it makes his heart race immediately. He fumbles with the tightness of his pockets trying to retrieve the annoying contraption.

It’s only Scott. He sighs, disappointed.

“What’s up, buddy?”

“ _IHAVEADATEWITHALLISONTONIGHTANDIHAVENOIDEAWHATI’MDOINGANDIDON’TKNOWWHATTOWEARORSAY. HELPME.”_ Scott’s voice comes across the earpiece loud and rambling, but Stiles has known Scott long enough to understand his incoherent thoughts and speech.

“Okay, take a breath, Scotty. You got this. You’re good looking, charming, funny. And she agreed to go out with you. You already nailed this date. Wear those black jeans and the red and black flannel. You got this.” Stiles reassures his best friend while fluffing his hair in the bathroom mirror. Okay so maybe he had like 2 hours until Derek was going to supposedly be there but it doesn't hurt to check how he looks, right? Right?

Oh shit. He is so screwed.

“Thanks, man.” Scott takes a deep breath over the phone line. “What are you up to tonight?”

Stiles chest instantly tightens. “Uhh, you know. The usually. Video games. Junk food. Porn. Not particularly in that order.” _Hopefully_ , he adds silently.

He doesn't know why he feels the need to keep from Scott that he's hanging out with Derek. He’s sure if Scott got to know him like Stiles has, he’d like him just as much...

Okay so maybe not the SAME way Stiles likes Derek.

Christ, he is so screwed.

He hangs up on his friend and looks anxiously, again, at the clock. It’s only been 10 minutes since the last time he checked.

It’s gonna be a long morning.

* * *

 

 _This air is blessed, you share with me_ _; This night is wild, so calm and dull; These hearts, they race from self-control..._

 

When the doorbell finally rings at 2, on the dot, Stiles is ready to jump out of his skin. And he literally does when the loud chime of the front door awakens him from yet another fantasy he was having about Derek Hale. Derek Hale who is now standing in his front porch, leather jacket and ridiculous facial hair and all.

“Hey.” The normally antisocial teen mumbles. It’s a start.

“Heeeeeeeeey!” Stiles says, a little too excited. “Um, come in. Come in.” He widens the door and Derek steps in looking around. He sniffs the air and Stiles forehead creases with confusion. But he doesn't ask.

“So I have all the essentials. Doritos, Twizzlers, beef jerky and of course, Pepsi.” Stiles waves his hand over the array of snacks laid out on the coffee table as they enter the living room. Derek eyes it suspiciously.

“No Coke?”

Stiles eyes widen. “You...do that?”

Derek rolls his eyes and flops down on the couch. “Coke as in SODA, Einstein. I don’t do drugs.”

“Oh, okay cool.” Stiles sits hesitantly next to him and taps his fingers on his knee. “So...whatcha wanna do?”

“I thought we were gonna play video games?” Derek pauses. “Your dad gone?”

Stiles nods, picking up the PlayStation controller off the coffee table. “Yeah he’ll be gone all afternoon and night.” He swallows. “You, um, staying over?” His palms are sweaty and the controller slips from his hand and onto the floor. Derek bends over and picks it up and throws it back onto Stiles lap.

“Maybe. Depends on how tired I am from kicking your ass at Call of Duty.” He smirks, but never actually looks at Stiles.

“Pfffft. Right, dude. You have no idea. I’m a pro. Scott and I spend whole SUMMERS perfecting this game and I’m a master.” Stiles assures him, throwing the extra controller onto Derek’s own lap.

“Master-bater maybe.” Derek jokes.

“You’re a funny guy.” Stiles mumbles. _Only because he’s right._

* * *

 

 _There is a silence that comes to a house where no one can sleep. I guess it's the price of love; I know it's not_ _cheap..._

 

It’s after midnight before Derek’s eyes become too heavy for him to even focus anymore.

His stomach is bloated and hanging over his jeans from the copious amounts of junk food they consumed and he can tell Stiles is fading next to him as well. When Stiles’ head finally falls back against the couch, mouth hanging open and a spot of drool forming on the corner of his mouth, Derek gently takes the controller from his hand and lays it on the coffee table.

He cleans up, washing the bowls the chips were in and sealing whatever is left back in their rightful bags. He wipes down the coffee table and gives Stiles a long look as he sleeps. His pale, delicate skin and the tiny moles that scatter across it like stars in a clear night sky.

The kid smells amazing. Like fabric softener and sweat and freshly cut grass. He smells like every season all rolled into one. Derek isn't sure where Stiles came from, all of a sudden. How he crept up on him without warning and broke through the wall Derek had spent a long time building for himself.

Stiles is hyper. And extremely talkative. He flails and yells and laughs obnoxiously. He’s stubborn and a know it all. But he’s kind and his smile alone makes Derek forget every ounce of pain he’s ever been in.

Derek is in deep shit trouble. But he knows better. He knows he’s leaving right after graduation. He can't get away fast enough. Start his life over with Laura and their own pack. He doesn’t have the time or the emotions left to get too close.

Because Stiles is the kind of person who could make him want the things normal people want. The kind of person who could make Derek want to stay.

Stiles stirs, wiping the drool off his mouth and flops face first into the couch cushions. Derek knows he shouldn't do it. But he does. He picks Stiles up, gently, his one arm under the back of his knees, the other around the back of his neck, keeping his head steady as he carefully maneuvers up the stairs and into what is obviously Stiles room.

Covered in posters of movies he loves (that Derek loves too) and bands he also loves. Drawings of weird things that make no sense and stickers and buttons and miscellaneous memorabilia that could only mean something to Stiles. For a mere second it makes Derek’s heart ache because he WANTS to be a part of his walls. An inside joke, a memory, something in Stiles’ world. He shakes the thought away as he lowers Stiles onto his twin bed.

He removes his sneakers and pulls the green fuzzy blanket up over his new friend. His wolf yearns to climb next to him, nuzzle his face into Stiles’ neck and wrap himself up around him. But he won't. Because the human in him knows this isn't the time. This isn't the place.

And it may never be.

No matter how much Stiles smells like home.

* * *

 

_Hands down this is the best day, I can ever remember..._

 

Stiles awakes in the morning, the sun shining bright inside his room, confused. He’s in his bed, fully dressed but shoes off. He doesn't remember going to bed. The last thing he remembers is playing Call of Duty with Derek and then...

He sits up abruptly, almost causing himself whiplash.

Derek.

His heart is hammering in his chest and he can still feel the heat on his skin of how close Derek was to him last night. He recalls the way his jeans fit just right in all the best places. How he smelled like wood and pine. How his teeth were adorably crooked and his front ones looked like bunny teeth and he had these adorable fangs and-

“Stiles?”

Stiles screams, throwing his hands out flailing about when he turns to find his best friend sitting in his desk chair, staring at him. His brow is furrowed. He looks...perplexed.

“Jesus, Scotty. Nearly gave me a heart attack. How long have you been sitting there?” Stiles clutches the cotton shirt around his chest, trying to will his heart rate to decrease to normal rhythm.

“Not long.” Scott answers, eyeing his best friend with seriously the weirdest look.

“So how was your date with Allison?” Stiles asks, stretching and gathering himself to finally get up and move around.

“Good.” Scott pauses. “Um, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” Stiles throws his blanket off himself and begins to stand up.

“Why is Derek Hale asleep on your couch?”

That’s when Stiles falls face first off his bed and onto the floor.

_Take a breath and hold onto tight; Spin around one more time and gracefully fall back into the arms of faith..._

Derek can hear them upstairs. Scott and Stiles are talking in hushed voices. But he can hear them. Super senses, as Laura calls it.

Derek contemplates leaving. He could just go home and avoid all the awkward looks from both Scott and Stiles when they decide to come downstairs. But he doesn't want to do that to Stiles. He wants to have a cup of coffee with him. Maybe even head to the diner and grab some breakfast and-

Shit.

He’s already in too deep. He should have gone home last night. Derek doesn't live THAT far away. But he couldn't bring himself to. He felt the need to stay...to watch over Stiles. To protect him.

This cannot happen. He needs to get away. He can't be near Stiles anymore. No matter what his heart and inner wolf are telling him. No attachments. It’s what he promised himself and Laura.

He shoves his feet into his boots and grabs his jacket before he can have any second thoughts.

With his handle on the doorknob he listens one last time to Stiles’ erratic heartbeat from upstairs. He’ll miss it and Stiles won't understand. But he’ll get over it.

As he swings the door open to exit, he finds himself staring straight into the blue eyes of Sheriff Stilinski.

“Uh...” Derek murmurs.

The Sheriff gives him an odd look. “Derek Hale?”

“Yeah, I...uh...Stiles and I were playing video games and...” He can't get the words out. He’s literally stuttering.

“Uh, huh.” The Sheriff cocks an eyebrow at him. “You gonna let me into my house?”

“Oh, sorry. Right.” Derek backs up away from the door and watches as the Sheriff enters the house. “I was just leaving.” He attempts to get out as fast as possible but the Sheriff won't have it. His hand grasps around Derek’s shoulder, pulling him back.

“Not so fast. Where’s my son?”

“Upstairs. With Scott.” Derek answers, feeling his anxiety begin to go through the roof. He just wanted to make a clean escape and now he’s here with Stiles’ father and Scott is upstairs and it’s obvious he slept here because he’s sure his hair is a mess...and Jesus Christ.

“STILES. DOWN HERE. NOW.” The Sheriff yells from the bottom of the stairs. He hears Stiles’ ‘I think I’m whispering but I’m actually talking louder than I normally do’ voice all the way from his room and the shuffle of hurried feet down the hallway.

Derek is in deep shit trouble.

“Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey dad. What. Is. Up.” Stiles appears at the top of the stairs, hair sticking every which way and Scott behind him just shaking his head.

“Stiles, would you please come down and inform me why this young man is downstairs all by himself?”

Stiles jumps a few stairs at a time on his way down before landing, hard on the floor in front of his dad.

“I was actually just leaving...” Derek tries to explain but the Sheriff shoots him a look so he shuts up quickly. Stiles frowns at him.

“We were just up playing video games, dad. He crashed here.” Stiles explains. “On the couch.” He adds quickly. Derek furrows his brow.

“You all played video games last night?” The sheriff asks. He looks at Scott. Stiles looks at Scott. Scott looks at Derek. Then the Sheriff.

“Don’t get me involved in this.” Scott throws up his hands and makes his way to the front door. “Stiles, call me later.” He throws over his shoulder before the front door closes. It’s eerily quiet after that. Just the sound of breathing surrounding them and Stiles’ erratic heartbeat that Derek knows he himself is the only one who can actually hear it.

The Sheriff is just staring at Stiles and Stiles is looking everywhere but at his father. Derek sighs.

“It was really nice to meet you but I really need to-”

“No, actually we didn't meet.” The sheriff interrupts. He puts his hand out. “John Stilinski.”

“Um,” Derek clears his throat and shakes his hand. “Derek Hale.”

“I know who you are.” The sheriff assures him.

There is more awkward silence before Derek speaks again. “I need to get home. I have to...I...” He doesn't even bother to finish before he is out the door and running to the Camaro.

* * *

 

_All that I want for you my son is to be satisfied; and be a simple kind of man..._

 

Stiles taps his finger on the kitchen table, avoiding all eye contact with his father. But he can feel his father’s eyes on him. Staring. Judging. Awaiting answers to questions he hasn’t even asked yet.

“We could sit here all day if you want. I have nowhere to be but here with my son today.” Mr. Stilinski takes a sip of his coffee.

Stiles releases a long suffering groan.

“I’m not really sure why we are sitting here.” Stiles mumbles.

“Oh, you know perfectly well.” His father assures him. Stiles sighs again.

“Because Derek was in the house. And I know you don't like him-”

“I never said I didn't like him. I don’t know him.”

“You’re right.” Stiles finally looks at his father. “You don’t. Everyone judges him and never actually talk to him. He’s a good person. Kind. And...” He shakes his head. “Never mind.”

“No, come on. Tell me.” John leans forward, wrapping his hands around his cup. “Seriously, talk to me Stiles.”

He looks his father square in the eyes. “Derek is my friend. He helped me with my Jeep and I feel like he understands me. He’s lost–” Stiles trails off.

“I know what he’s lost. I am the sheriff of this town, you know.” John pauses. “He lives all alone in an apartment. I mean, what kind of sister just leaves him-”

“She didn't leave him!” Stiles yells. “I wouldn’t want to stay here either if that happened to me! But Derek, he wants to stay here. He...I don't know. He’s a good person. Can't you just trust me?”

John looks at his son with concerned yet compassionate eyes. “You care about him.”

Stiles nods.

John takes a breath. “Stiles, are you...?”

Stiles nods. He knew this day would come. The day where he’d have to tell his dad that not only did he think girls were beautiful, he in fact thought boys could be just as beautiful.

John lets out his breath and leans back in his chair. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Stiles mimics hesitantly.

“Yes. Okay. What did you think I was going to say? Did you think I’d yell at you? Disown you? You’re still my son, no matter who you love.” His father reassures him.

“I never said I loved him!” Stiles spits out.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I meant whether you love a woman or...a man. You’ll always be my son. And I’m proud of who you are and what you will be. Always.”

Tears stream down Stiles face. “I’ve never said it out loud before.”

“You can say anything you want in this house.”

Stiles wipes his face and sniffles loudly. He nods. He knows he can say anything to his father. They had been through so much; enough for a lifetime between father and son with his mother’s death.

“So say it, son.” John never takes his eyes off his son.

“Dad...it’s okay. I know I am. I don’t need to–”

“Say it, Stiles.” His father demands softly.  “I can’t say I know what you’re going through but it might make you feel better to say it out loud.”

Stiles takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “I’m gay.”

* * *

 

_You think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong. I know you get me so I let my walls come down…_

 

Derek closes his locker door and before he can even blink, there is Stiles.

“So I need to tell you something.”

Derek swore he was done with Stiles. No more contact. He was already too close. He wasn't even sure he liked guys. But he likes Stiles. But he just isn't sure how deep that goes. And trying to figure that out or admitting it was something he couldn't do. Nothing can keep him here.

But yet he can’t help but see that look of fear and desperation in Stiles’ eyes and he can’t bring himself to walk away.

“Okay.” He says softly.

“Not here. Can we like…” Stiles makes a head motion toward the door.

“People are going to think I’m turning you into a juvenile delinquent.” Derek protests.

“Nah. I don’t even own a leather jacket.” Stiles winks at the bearded boy.

Derek groans and grabs Stiles by the flannel on his arm. “Let’s go, idiot.”

They make it to the preserve without one word exchanged between them the whole ride there. Derek can feel and smell the anticipation on Stiles. And the debilitating fear.

Stiles scrambles out of the Camaro and begins to pace over the dead leaves and new grass trying to grow in the spring air.

“Stiles…” Derek walks toward him.

“NO!” Stiles holds up his hand. Derek stills. “Stay right there.” He takes a deep breath. “So for one I want to reassure you my dad doesn't hate you. I explained we are friends and he said you are welcome at our house anytime.”

Derek nods. “Okay. And Scott?”

“I’m still working on that part.”

Derek doesn't say anything.

“But I came to a realization yesterday. Not that I didn't already know any of what I am about to tell you because, jeez, I’m pretty sure I’ve always known and I’m not saying this because I expect anything from you nor do I expect any reciprocation from you either. Okay?”

“Okay.” Derek says gently.

Stiles takes a very deep intake of breath and lets it slowly and closes his eyes.

“I’m gay.”

Derek doesn't flinch. He doesn't move.

“Okay.”

Stiles opens his eyes. “What?”

“Okay.” Derek repeats. He can hear Stiles heart hammering away in his chest. He could possibly see why Stiles would think this would affect their friendship, but it doesn’t. In the slightest. In fact, it almost makes this better. Maybe Derek hadn’t been imagining the racing pulse or the smell of nervousness that Stiles gives off sometimes when they are together.

“Okay? That’s all you have to say?”

“Well, yeah. I mean...” Derek gives him a confused look. “I’m not sure exactly what you were expecting me to say. Or react.”

“Well I expected more than ‘Okay.’”

“Stiles, I could give a shit if you’re gay or not. We’re friends, right?” Derek asks. He takes a step toward him. Stiles gapes at him.

“Yeah, we are.”

“Then who gives a shit if you like girls or guys? I’m not that narrow minded. That’s what this is all about? What you needed to skip school for and made me bring you all the way out here? You couldn't tell me at school?” Derek finally plants himself in front of Stiles and puts his hand on his shoulder.

He can feel the fire shoot through his body but he doesn't want to freak Stiles out by pulling his hand away like he just touched a hot stove.

“No I couldn't tell you at SCHOOL. Nobody KNOWS.”

“Not even Scott?” Derek asks, surprised.

“I’m working on that too.”

Derek almost feels himself smirk. Stiles told him first. Trusted him enough to tell Derek one of the biggest secrets in his life.

“Stiles, first of all, it’s 2014. No one gives a fuck if you’re gay. Danny is gay. No one gives a shit about that. And two, I bet more people know than you think.”

“Did you know?” Stiles whispers.

“Kinda, I don't know. It doesn’t matter. It doesn't change a damn thing about you. Be proud of who you are because who you are is pretty incredible.”

Stiles’ eyes widen and Derek immediately shoves his shoulder to lighten the mood. “Come on, homo. I’m hungry. Since you made me ditch school for the stupidest reason ever, you’re paying for lunch.”

* * *

 

_My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me; so won’t you kill me? So I die happy?_

 

The click of the Stiles’ stereo makes Derek look up from his Economics book that is open in front of him while he lies across Stiles’ bed. As the sound of electronic dancy crap begins to waft through the air, he watches as Stiles automatically begins to move his hips.

“Stiles, what the hell is this crap?” Derek asks, closing the book and rolling himself off the bed.

He stands, making his way to the stereo, across the cluttered floor and past Stiles. It’s Sunday night, and with the impending doom of their Econ final coming closer and closer from the distance, they decided studying might be best than playing countless hours of Call of Duty.

“Hey! No!” Stiles yells, swatting Derek’s hand away as he tries to turn the knob off. “I have to listen to your sad bastard emo music all the time in your car. My room, my music.”

“This isn't music.” Derek argues.

“What!?” Stiles’ eyes widen and he moves in front of the stereo to keep Derek away. “Come on. This is Ellie Goulding! Her jams are my shit!”

“They’re shit all right.” Derek mumbles.

He watches as Stiles sings along to the poppy lyrics, moving his small hips to the music. He bounces and closes his eyes, his arms going over his head. Derek thinks he's attempting to dance.

Derek moves away to go sit on the bed again. But he feels Stiles’ long fingers wrap around his wrist.

“Nuh uh uh!” Stiles pulls Derek back to him, quickly grabbing his other wrist. “Come on. Loosen up a little. Dance!” He moves Derek’s arms around but the other boy stands perfectly still.

“You like to do this?” Derek enunciates every word slowly as he watches Stiles completely lose himself in the music. ”Because really, Ellie Goulding?”

“ _I keep calling your name, I keep calling your name. I wanna hold you close but I never wanna feel ashamed!_ ” Stiles repeats the lyrics loudly, still flailing Derek’s arms all around, moving them to that own rhythm of his he has. Derek smiles a little.

“Stiles, I don't dance.” He reminds him.

“Maybe you should! I do this all the time, dude. Just let loose. It releases so much hyperness. And it makes me feel good. To just...let everything out!” Stiles really begins to flail around now.

“ _Goodness gracious I can't seem to stop calling you up, calling you up, just to keep crawling to your arms. Goodness gracious I can't seem to stop…_ ” He falls into Derek, his arms snaking around his waist, trying to get him to move.

Derek starts to laugh, moving his arms above his head and trying to match Stiles’ ridiculous dance moves. This isn't dancing, he muses. This is moving around crazily to horrific music. But Stiles seems...happy. And Derek kind of is too right now.

So he lets go.

Derek begins to bounce and hop around, waving his arms above his head and shaking his hips like an idiot.

All the while, Stiles still has his arms wrapped around him and he’s not even holding back his giggles and laughs, just continues to sing loudly as the room shakes from their boisterous movements.

Derek can smell the happiness and the sweat forming on Stiles’ skin and it makes his own senses begin to hum.

Stiles stumbles suddenly over his own feet, crashing hard into Derek’s chest. Derek’s arms wrap around him instantly and protectively. The song ends, and the only sound left in the room is the rapid beating of their hearts and heavy, exhausted breathing.

Stiles doesn't move. Neither does Derek.

They just stare, Derek down into deep brown and Stiles up at green. Stiles swallows after a few minutes as their heart rates return to a somewhat normal pace. He opens his mouth and Derek takes a deep breath.

“Are you going to kiss me?” It’s so low that if Derek hadn’t been a werewolf, his ears wouldn’t have distinguished the words spoken to him.

His eyes widen and he pushes Stiles off him so fast his back hits his dresser. Hard.

“Ow. Okay. Guess that answers my question.”

He’s hurt. And not just physically.

“I’m sorry. I just…” Derek begins, tries to explain, even reaching for him, but Stiles quickly cuts him off, putting his hand out.

“Dude. I got it. I mean, you know I’m gay. But I get it. You’re not… I just...hope this doesn't freak you out so much that we stop being friends.”

Derek shakes his head. “I know. But no. Yeah. This doesn't change our friendship.”

“Okay, good. Let’s just study, okay? We both need to.” Stiles sits down on the bed, grabbing his Econ book and bringing his legs underneath him, Indian style.

Derek just stands there, until Stiles looks up. “Dude. What? Are you sure you're okay?”

“Did you...like...want to kiss me just now?” He hopes his question won’t tense up Stiles more.

Stiles pales. “I...maybe.” He pauses. “Does that make you feel weird? I mean it’s not like I’m in love with you. It’s just...a reflex. You’re good looking, you know.”

Derek listens intently to his heartbeat. Stiles is lying. His heart skipped 2 beats when he said ‘it’s not like I’m in love with you.’

“Right. Okay.” Derek finally sits down next to his friend on the bed, picking up his own textbook.

He flips through the pages and feels Stiles begin to relax slowly next him. He waits. Stiles reads, highlighting a few sentences here and there. Derek watches him as his fingers grip the yellow marker tightly. He hears the squeak it makes across the page. He can hear his own heartbeat almost completely in sync with Stiles’ now.

Derek always wondered what it would be like to kiss a guy. Yes, he’s been with a girl. It was good, in the get your rocks off, 16 year old kind of way. But he was never comfortable.

Stiles makes him feel comfortable. He’s never felt calm when he was with anyone. He’s never felt...safe.

His mother used to tell him it doesn't matter who he gives his heart to. Werewolf, human. Girl. Boy. As long as they deserve it.

Jennifer didn't deserve it. Those girls at school with their short skirts and low IQ’s don't deserve it. They don't really like him. They like the idea. The mystery he carries around with him down the halls. But Stiles, he knows him.

And he danced with him. Derek doesn't even dance.

So very carefully, and slowly, Derek leans over, takes Stiles chin in his hand, and kisses him.

His lips are perfect. Soft and plump and Stiles intake of breath makes Derek do the same. Stiles opens his mouth, ever so slightly and the tips of their tongues touch. It’s delicate. It’s new.

It’s everything Derek wanted his first kiss to be.

When it ends, they both pull back. Stiles blinks at him and brings his lips into his mouth.

“Why did you do that?”

“Was that your first kiss?”

Derek, the deflector.

Stiles won’t look at him. He’s picking at his finger nails and biting his lower lip and Derek can hear his heart beat picking up speed.

“What? No!”

Derek looks at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay. Fine. Yes. Is it that obvious?” He can hear Stiles’ heart begin to race again.

“It was good.” Derek says softly.

“But why?” Stiles whispers.

Derek shrugs. He tries to play it off as not a big deal but the truth is Derek’s own heart is racing as well. His palms are starting to sweat too. That kiss was…everything that has been missing in his life. But he has to play it cool. This can’t be any more than an experiment. Two friends…just…

“Just wanted to see what it was like.”

Stiles face falls and he looks down at his book. “Oh, okay. Cool. Um, listen.” He stands, rubbing the back of his neck. “I really need to get some sleep tonight. I haven't been sleeping well and with this test tomorrow and all. We’re good right? I mean you'll be ok for the test?”

Derek doesn't answer for a few seconds, feeling like he’s done something wrong. “Yeah. I guess. Sorry if I…”

Stiles puts his hand up. “Stop right there, buddy. No need to apologize. You tried it. It’s done, right? Let’s just forget it.”

Derek nods. He stands, gathering up his books and jacket. “K. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“Yup.” Stiles puts his book on his desk and keeps his back to Derek.

But Derek can hear his heart. He can feel the sadness.

“Stiles…”

“Don't, Derek. Seriously. We’re good. Just go.” His voice quivers at the last word.

“Stiles.” He steps forward, his hand reaching out to touch his shoulder.

When it makes contact, the shiver he felt before runs back up his arms and back.

“Please, just go.” Stiles begs. “Don’t make this harder. I wanna stay friends.”

“I need to tell you something.” Derek voice is barely a whisper.

He was always warned by Laura not to tell the secret. That humans wouldn't understand. That humans and werewolves can't live happily together in harmony. That there are hunters and horrible people out there that would want to hurt him. Take advantage of him. Derek has seen it firsthand.

But he trusts Stiles. And he needs to tell him especially if...he doesn't know yet.

“What?” Stiles doesn't turn around. He keeps his hands on his desk, moving objects around, fidgeting.

“I need you to look at me.” Derek says.

He feels himself begin to shift; extra hair forming on his cheeks and his nails growing into sharp claws. He’s been practicing how to control his shift. He’s gotten good at it.

“Derek if you’re going to give me some big speech on how you’re not gay you can save-HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” When he sees Derek he falls back against the desk, practically climbing back on top of it to get away from Derek.

Okay, he actually makes it up onto his desk a little bit.

“What in the actual FUCK is...dude. You...holy shit I KNEW IT. I SO CALLED IT. I KNEW YOU WERE SOME SORT OF WERE WOLF. YOU WERE ALWAYS SNIFFING AND YOU COULD LIKE HEAR ME FROM LIKE BIG DISTANCES AND THAT DAY WITH MY CAR YOU TOTALLY COULD LIKE SENSE ME RIGHT? HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT.”

Derek shifts back and take a large step backwards. Stiles…knew? “No one knows.”

“No shit.” Stiles comes down and steps toward him, studying his face, trying to see any trace of hair or more touches of animal nature. “Dude. That’s so awesome.”

“You’re not...freaked out?” Derek asks, confused.

“Well of course I’m freaked out, but not in a bad way. I mean...it doesn’t change anything. Unless you plan on eating me. Or humping my leg.” Stiles smirks.

“You can’t tell anyone.” Derek quickly reminds him. Stiles looks...hurt again.

“You don’t trust me?”

He feels and witnesses Stiles begin to shut down emotionally and physically.

“No! I do. I actually trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. Which is why I told you.” Derek explains. Stiles visibly relaxes.

“Okay, cool.”

There’s an awkward silence between them. Stiles balances from one foot to another, tapping his fingers on his desk while Derek stands perfectly still.

“So…” Stiles begins. He really doesn’t quite have a knack down for breaking awkward silences.

Derek raises an eyebrow.

“Show me your fangs.” Stiles pleads, smiling.

Derek’s eyes widen a little. Stiles actually…likes this?

“What. I...really?”

“Yeah, dude. I’m super excited about this. I like, wanna know everything.”

“I can’t believe you’re taking this so well.” Derek knows he’s acting guarded. But Laura’s always warned him. And after what happened with his family…

Stiles sighs. “My mom was a really open minded person.”

Derek takes in a breath. Stiles never talks about his mother. Ever. He nods and Stiles takes that as his cue to continue.

“She told me there was magic everywhere. She was convinced I was magic.” Stiles snorts. “But anyway. She, in turn, taught me to be open minded. It’s who you are. It explains a lot about you actually.” Stiles bites his lower lip.

Derek feels his pants tighten. What the hell was THAT?

“It was the hunters.” Derek blurts out. His eyes widen as the words fall from his mouth. Where did that come from?

Stiles frowns. “The fire?” He asks, then Derek nods.

“How come you’ve never asked me about it?” Derek backs up to sit on the edge of the bed.

He gets a shrug in response. “Same reason you’ve never asked about my mom, I guess. I figured if you wanted to or if you were ready, you would.”

“Hunters found out what we were.” Derek begins. “And they set fire to our house. It killed my parents and my sister Cora. My sister Laura survived and my uncle Peter too, but he was so badly burned he had to be in a long term facility.”

“And Laura is where?” Stiles is gentle with his question. “I mean, you live alone.”

“She's in New York. She knows I can take care of myself. When I graduate I’m going to join her there.” Derek watches as Stiles face falls.

“New York. Wow, that’s far.” Stiles swallows, finally joining him on the bed.

“There are a lot of good colleges in New York.” Derek reminds him.

He takes a chance, intertwining his fingers with Stiles’. It feels...good. He feels safe for the first time since his parents died.

Stiles smiles gently. “I don't belong in New York.”

And then something in Derek shifts. His feeling for Stiles…he can’t deny them anymore. How could he possibly? This boy…no man…had somehow wormed his way into his heart. He can’t ignore how at home Stiles makes him feel. How he smiles more when he’s around. How the loneliness and sadness disappears when Stiles is next to him. He needs Stiles. They need each other.

“You belong with me.” Derek nearly chokes on the emotion in his voice.

Stiles looks up, his face unreadable. “Don't, Derek. Don’t make this complicated. I can’t lose you.”

“Maybe I like complicated. And who said anything about losing me?” Derek squeezes his hand.

“Derek, I’m serious.”

“You don't...you're not curious what this could be?”

Derek feels himself begin to panic. What if he just messed this all up? What if yeah, Stiles is attracted to him, but he may have just in fact screwed up everything by kissing him. He can’t lose the closest person he has here. He can’t lose what he has with Stiles, friendship or more. He’s too close to him now. To lose him now, after everything else he had already been through would destroy Derek beyond repair.

Stiles sighs. “Of course I am. It’s all I fucking think about.” He eyes Derek and shivers. “Stop looking at me like that.”

Derek smirks, the heat off Stiles undeniable. “Then let’s try it. Let’s just...see what happens.” He shifts toward him, their knees knocking together.

“And if it doesn't work?” Stiles whispers. He leans in closer, pressing his forehead against Derek’s.

“Such a pessimist.” Derek captures his lips and Stiles gasps.

Derek can feel Stiles’ heartbeat pick up, so Derek pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.

“Derek...” He murmurs between kisses.

“Hmmm?” Derek takes his bottom lip between his teeth. He’s engulfed by Stiles’ scent. He’s surrounded by him, emotionally and physically.

“My dad’s downstairs.” Stiles whispers, pulling back. “I can’t do this with him here.”

“It’s too late to go back to my loft. He will know something is up.” Derek grumbles, disappointment in his voice.

“Something is up, alright.” Stiles smirks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Derek sneaks one more kiss and grabs his Econ book “Okay, let’s study. We can't get you grounded ‘cause then I won’t be able to see you.”

“Are we really gonna do this?” Stiles asks.

Derek nods. “If you want to.”

Derek pleads silently in his mind that Stiles does.

“I want to. Fuck, I want to.”

They settle back onto the bed in silence, reading their textbooks, Stiles highlighter going back to its annoying squeaking across the pages. They make it maybe, 2 minutes before Stiles breaks the silence.

“So, show me your fangs.”

* * *

 

_With a bet about us, you said that you'd take it; This sorta fairy tale with you…_

 

Derek insisted on driving Stiles to school the next morning, insulting him along the way, by calling the Jeep a ‘death trap’, but Stiles lets him drive anyway.

Something felt right about being in the passenger seat of the Camaro, letting Derek drive him around, their fingers intertwined over the stick shift.

It’s not something Stiles ever had, or ever thought he’d have, but it’s something. And it’s all his.

He pushes his door open as the car parks in one of the spots right in front of the school. It’s where Derek parks. Everyone knows it and no one dares ever park there. Not that Derek really gives a shit where he parks, he’s told Stiles that repeatedly, but still, the space is open every single morning.

When he gets to school in the mornings, Stiles parks like 2 miles away.

Derek is at his side in a moment, closing his door for him and slinging his arm over Stiles’ shoulder like it’s an action he does all the time. Like it’s as simple as blinking.

Like his arm freaking belongs there.

He pulls Stiles to him a little and Stiles feels his heart begin to race.

“Um, Der? Everyone is staring.” Stiles whispers, as all eyes of Beacon Hills High School fall on him and Derek making their way up the sidewalk.

“Are they?” Derek says, smirking. They are hidden behind dark sunglasses, but Stiles knows there are laugh crinkles on the sides of his eyes. He groans.

“Listen, maybe you’re used to every freaking living person staring at you, but this is all new territory to me. I feel like Bella Swan right now.” He hisses.

“Who?” Derek asks. Stiles groans again.

* * *

 

_Rumor has it…_

 

“Everyone is talking about you and Derek.” Scott’s voice is in Stiles’ ear before he can even take a breath as Derek heads one way down the hallway. He had kissed Stiles passionately before leaving him breathless and starry-eyed. Stiles blinks at his best friend.

“Huh?” He can't get his bearings. He’s watching Derek’s ass in those dark jeans as he walks away.

“Dude, are you sure about this? I mean…” Scott looks at Stiles, concerned.

Stiles smiles and puts his arm around Scott’s shoulder. “Scott, my main man, aren't you happy for your best friend?”

“No! I mean, yes!” Scott assures him quickly. “Of course I am. You deserve to be happy. But Derek Hale? I mean he has a reputation and we’re graduating, you know? Are you sure right now is the time to start a serious relationship? I mean…Stanford. Remember Stanford? Your dream college you worked your ass off to get into? What about that?”

Stiles frowns. He’s been trying NOT to think about that. He knows Derek has every intention of going to New York to be with his sister after graduation and go to school out there. NYU law school, to be exact.

“Dude, talk about serious relationship? You and Allison seem pretty hot and heavy.” Stiles reminds him.

Scott tries not to smile. “We are. But we are both going to Beacon Hills Community College. I don’t have the kind of future you have.”

“Scott. Stop, you’re gonna do 2 years at BHCC and then come and be my roomie at Stanford.” He pats him on the back.

Scott nods. “I just don’t want to see you get all tangled up in Derek and lose yourself.”

And then Stiles realizes what Scott is really talking about. He doesn't want Stiles to get all tangled up in Derek and forget about HIM.

Stiles stops walking and faces his best friend, since the first time they met in that kindergarten sandbox, and puts his hands on his shoulders. “Scott, my best bud. My main man. My dude of all dudes. We will always be best friends. You are not gonna lose me just because I have a boyfriend now.”

Scott gives him a lopsided look. “You didn’t even tell me the two of you had been hanging out.”

Stiles sighs. Damn, Stiles needs to realize Scott isn’t the strong, reassured teenager he always assumed he was. “You’re right. And I’m sorry. I was just afraid you wouldn't understand.”

“I don’t.” Scott scoffs but then smiles at him. “But you seem really happy. And to be honest I’d like to get to know him. Why don't you guys double with me and Allison Friday night?”

“That would be awesome. I want you to see what a great guy he is. You can’t believe everything you hear about him. He’s pretty amazing.” Stiles feels himself start to grow red and heated in the face. Scott groans, turning to leave Stiles with a whimsical look on his face.

“Dude, you’re hopeless.”

He is. And he loves it.

* * *

 

_I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans; Be your teenage dream tonight…_

 

“No.”

“Derek!” Stiles is in the lunch line piling food on his tray with Derek behind him, not getting food, of course, when he brings up the double date idea.

“No.” Derek repeats more sternly.

“Why not?” Stiles isn’t giving up until Derek agrees.  

“Because I don't go on double dates.” He growls.

Stiles rolls his eyes. “No shit. You haven't even taken me on a real date.”

Derek frowns. “Do you…? I…”

Stiles laughs, touching his arm tenderly. “Stop. I’m kidding. I don’t care about shit like that. But I care about this. Scott is my best friend and I want him to know you.”

“I’m sure he knows me.” Derek grumbles as he follows Stiles out into the quad where every single senior of Beacon Hills has gathered. His hand immediately goes to Stiles’ lower back protectively. It’s weird but kind of cute.

“No, he thinks he knows you. But the rumors aren't true. I want him to know the real you.” Stiles turns, tray in hand, and leans in to ghost his lips over Derek’s. “The you I fell for.”

Derek growls low in his chest and presses a soft almost not there kiss to Stiles’ full lips. “Stiles, you know I need to be careful. No one can know…” Stiles kisses him again, deeper this time, his tongue lapping at Derek’s bottom lip. Derek tries to get closer but the damn lunch tray is in the way.

“You think I’d tell anyone or put you in any position where you would be in danger?” Stiles whispers. He can feel the eyes on them. Everyone is staring.

“No.” Derek chokes out.

“It’s bowling. Do it for me and I promise you’ll get a treat after.” Stiles smiles. Derek raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not a dog.”

“No. But you’re my good boy, and good boys get treats.” Stiles turns on his heel and walks toward his usual lunch table. He knows Derek is watching his ass.

“FINE!” Derek yells to him.

Stiles smiles.

* * *

 

_If I had only felt how it feels to be yours; Well, I would have known what I've been living for all along..._

 

 “My dad wants you to come over for dinner.” Stile says into his cell phone as he balances it on his shoulder.

“Why, so he can shoot me?” Derek grumbles. Stiles can hear the sound of pots and pans crashing around in the background. Derek is incapable of cooking without causing enough noise to wake his neighbors.

“Stop. He wants to get to know you. It’s a good sign!” Stiles reminds him. He pulls the cap off his highlighter and opens his Calculus book.

“You sure are asking a lot of me with this relationship. Double date bowling, meeting your father. This is all going a bit fast for me.” Derek’s voice comes through sternly. Stiles feels his heart sink into his feet.

“Oh. You don’t have to...I just...I’m sorry.” Stiles mumbles.

“Stiles, I’m kidding.” Derek chuckles. “When is dinner?”

“I hate you. Don’t do that to me. Ever.” Stiles yells.

“Okay, okay.” Derek sighs. “So, dinner?”

Stiles smiles. “Tomorrow night. Don’t wear your leather jacket.” Stiles pleads. He cringes thinking what an asshole he must sound to his new boyfriend. But his dad is the Sheriff. And he’s made comments, on several occasions, that only juvenile delinquents wear leather jackets. And this dinner needs to go perfectly.

“What if I’m cold?”

Stiles can hear the slam of another pot on the stove.

“Then wear a flannel!”

Derek sighs. “Stiles, I don’t wear plaid.”

“Maybe you should. It’s comfy.” Stiles smiles and leans back in his computer chair. He imagines Derek dressed in red and black flannel and tight jeans and boots. Sweaty and chopping wood…

Oh God. What the hell is wrong with him?

“Do you have a lumberjack kink?” Derek asks as if he literally saw right into Stiles’ mind.

Stiles loses his balance and falls backwards out of his chair.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Derek teases when he hears the grunt of Stiles trying to pick himself back off the floor. 

“You seriously are evil.” Stiles grumbles as he rights his chair and himself back into it.

“You are really adorable, you know that?” Derek says gently. Stiles eyes widen and he stills.

“I am?” Stiles can feel his cheeks begin to burn with redness.

“Yeah.” Derek says, almost breathless.

“I think you are too. I um, I like you. A lot.” Stiles closes his eyes at his declaration.

“Me too, Stiles. Me too.”

* * *

 

_Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans; be your teenage dream tonight…_

 

 “You did so well!” Stiles watches as Allison bounces in front of Scott and places a soft kiss on his best friend’s cheek.

Scott blushes, literally blushes, smiling at the girl of his dreams. Stiles feels Derek’s hand on his lower back and he smiles himself, sighing happily.

He has to say bowling went better than he thought it would. Scott and Derek actually TALKED. Mostly about motorcycles but still, it was a start. And Stiles got to know Allison, which, his intuitions were correct; she is a lovely girl. And the hearts in her eyes for Scott made Stiles heart swell. Ugh, being with Derek has made him a sap.

Okay, so maybe he’d always been a sap. But Derek is bringing things out in him that he didn't know were festering. Like when Derek bent over to throw his ball down the alley and his jeans were tight and form fitting around that glorious ass…

It’s not like Stiles has never been horny before. Of course he has. He’s jerked off. Spanked the monkey. Polished the family jewels. All of it. He’s watched porn.

But Derek makes him feel...like he’s on fire.

_“Did you seriously just eat the last Twizzler?” Stiles asked wide eyed. Derek chewed loudly, smirking._

_“Maybe.”_

_“You’re an awful person.” Stiles grumbled, reaching for a handful of pretzels._

_“I know, it keeps me up at night.”_

_They were sitting on Stiles couch watching the 2nd X-men. Stiles’ dad, gave them the LOOK that says ‘do not do ANYTHING’ before he went to bed and then left them alone downstairs with a table full of junk food._

_Stiles has to say he thought dinner went well. They had spaghetti, Stiles’ favorite, and Derek ate and smiled and chatted. Derek told his father about his interest in cars; how he’d actually like to own his mechanic shop one day. When Derek mentioned his father teaching him how to fix them, Stiles could see the hint of sadness in his boyfriend’s eyes. He took his hand under the table and Derek instantly relaxed._

_So now they were on the couch, feet tangled together, stuffing their stomachs until they needed to unbutton their jeans and arguing about how Cyclops is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than Wolverine any day._

_It felt comfortable. Right._

_But Stiles could feel the weight of it in the air._

_Sexual tension._

_Who would or should make a move? Will a move be made? Is it okay to make a move with the Sheriff just upstairs? But when Derek lazily rested his hand on Stiles’ knee, all bets were off. Stiles was on top of Derek in less than seconds, pretzels that were in his hand now on the floor and socked feet even MORE tangled now along with limbs and lips._

_“Stiles…” Derek mumbled between open mouth kisses. “Your father is upstairs. I do not want to get shot tonight.”_

_“Its fine, its fine. Shut up and kiss me.” Stiles kept kissing him, grinding against him._

_“Relax, Stiles. Slow down.” Derek pulled back, taking Stiles face in his hands._

_Stiles face fell. “You don’t want to make out with me?”_

_Derek groaned and rolled his eyes. “Of course I do. But your Dad is upstairs and it’s late and I don’t want to start something we can’t finish.”_

_“We don’t have much time though. I mean, we haven’t even talked about what will happen when you leave and-” Stiles tried to keep his voice from shaking._

_“I thought you were coming with me?” Derek asked confused._

_“I...I can’t just...leave. I got into Stanford.” Stiles sat up, straddling Derek’s thighs._

_Derek swallowed. “We don’t need to talk about this now.” He leaned up to capture Stiles lips but he’s denied._

_“This isn’t some fling for me.” Stiles proclaimed. “I don’t just...do this.”_

_“Neither do I.” Derek instantly shot back. “Is that what you think of me?”_

_“No.” Stiles swore defensively. “I just wanna make sure we are on the same page.”_

_“We are.  We are.” Derek nodded and grabbed the back of Stiles’ neck, bringing him back down on top of his chest. Stiles wanted to argue some more. He wanted to talk about his future. But he’s 17. And horny. And Derek was just so hot and when his tongue did that THING inside his mouth, he lost all brain function._

Stiles knows the closer they get to graduation, the closer they get to being apart. He needs to know what it means. What it all means. But with Derek this close...the way he smells. The way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles...

When they stop for food at the diner after Derek destroyed all of them with his near perfect 300 score, Derek’s hand resting perfectly between his thighs like it’s always belonged there, Stiles can feel himself catching fire once again.

He needs Derek. There is no other word for it.

Stiles leans over as Derek puts a French fry between his teeth. He brushes his lips against Derek’s ear ever so gently. “You’re taking me back to your apartment after this so I can give you your reward for being such a good boy tonight.”

Derek chokes, coughing into his hand and having to put a napkin over his mouth to keep the remnants of chewed up potato from spewing out of his mouth. He growls low in his chest and glares at his boyfriend. “You can't say things like that to me, Stiles.”

Stiles just kisses the spot under Derek’s ear and goes back to his burger. He can feel Derek’s claws against his thigh and it makes him harder than he has ever been. Ever.

After goodbyes were had, with handshakes between Scott and Derek and a hug between Stiles and Allison, he and Derek are in the Camaro, driving rather quickly down the back roads to Derek’s apartment. They both know what is about to happen, and don't have any clue what is about to happen.

But something is happening. It’s been happening since that first day when Derek stopped to help Stiles with his car. And maybe even before then.

Derek reaches over, taking Stiles’ hand on his lap. “Stop fidgeting. You don’t need to be nervous. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“Who’s nervous? Not me.” Stiles says quickly. “And we are definitely doing this.”

“Okay.” Derek pulls into a parking space in his complex and puts the car in park. He looks at Stiles and lays his hand on his cheek. Stiles leans into his touch, his eyes sliding shut. “But I’m serious, Stiles. There’s no rush. We can go at any pace you want.”

Stiles nods into his hand. “I know.” He whispers.

They tiptoe around each other when they enter the apartment; Derek turning on the lights, taking his jacket off. Stiles kind of meanders around, sliding his fingertips over surfaces around the apartment. When he feels Derek’s hands wrap around his waist from behind and his hot breath on his neck, his knees literally buckle. He lets out a pathetic moan and melts into Derek’s touch.

“I just want to kiss you. Anything else we do is your choice, but Christ, Stiles, I need your mouth.” Derek’s voice is wanton and needy in his ear.

Stiles turns in his arms and his mouth is on his within seconds. When Derek licks inside Stiles mouth he grinds against him. There’s lips, and teeth and saliva everywhere. It’s dirty and sexy and passionate, yet so perfect. Stiles scrambles to get closer to Derek; practically climbing him. Derek gets his hands on Stiles jeaned ass and hoists him up and Stiles wraps his legs around Derek’s waist like it’s the most natural thing he has ever done.

Stiles’ back hits the door as Derek continues to attack his mouth. Stiles feels like he can't get his mouth open wide enough and his jeans are so fucking tight around his cock he feels like he may burst at any moment.

“Are you eighteen, yet?” Derek asks, breathless, not waiting for an answer before attacking Stiles’ mouth again.

Stiles, unable to stop kissing him, shakes his head. Derek pulls back, his eyes dark with lust but Stiles, like a baby bird, tries to get his mouth back on his own. Stiles slides down the door, Derek holding against him until his sneakers hit the floor.

“What? Why’d you stop?” Stiles complains, his hands on Derek’s face, searching it for answers.

“We should wait.” Derek swallows.

“What? Why, because I’m not 18?”

“Stiles...I’m older than you think.” Derek admits.

“I know you took some time off school after the fire.” Stiles tries to get his mouth back on Derek’s but Derek shakes his head; the universal signal for no.

“I did, it’s true. But...I just think we should wait.”

Stiles arms fall down from Derek’s face. “Is this about that teacher? Because she was older than you?”

Derek’s eyes widen then glaze over. He pushes himself off Stiles and turns away from him. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Hey…” Stiles wraps his arms around Derek’s frame, pressing his face into the soft fabric of Derek’s t-shirt. “We don’t have to. I’m just…” Stiles sighs, his voice muffled against cotton. “I’m not saying I’m even sure I want to have sex...but I’d like to think I have the say in what my body wants. I mean, unless you don't want to have sex with me. You’ve been with girls the whole time…”

Derek whirls around, staring at Stiles with a furrowed brow. Stiles takes a step back, surprised.

“I want to have sex with you. Badly. It’s taking all my own human self-control not to let my wolf take over and bend you over the couch right now and mark and scent you as mine.” Derek admits, practically growling.

“Now, okay. You can't say shit like THAT to me and not expect me to want to have sex with you.” Stiles reaches his hand out for Derek and he reciprocates by intertwining their fingers together.

“Tell me what you want, Stiles.” Derek whispers. Stiles feels his chest tighten.

“You. All of you. I...I know we haven't known each other long. But. I feel closer to you than I have since…” Stiles swallows. “Since my mother died. You get me and I know I could fall in love with you. Which isn’t fair, you know? ‘Cause you’re gonna go to New York and I totally get why you need to, but it just isn’t fair. But I just...don't care. I need you. Like I need you to breathe and it scares the shit out of me but I just...don't fucking care.”

Derek’s hand begins to tremble inside Stiles’. “I know exactly how you feel.”

* * *

 

_I surrender who I've been for who you are; For nothing makes me stronger than, your fragile heart…_

 

And then there are no more questions. There’s just lips. And skin. And clothes strewn across a tidy apartment. Then there are limbs and more lips and more skin on soft cotton sheets. There are touches neither of them have ever felt because it comes from the heart. Derek’s dick slides against Stiles’. He feels his claws come out and he quickly hides his hand underneath the pillow under Stiles’ head.

“Don’t hide from me.” Stiles voice is confident as Derek looks down at him. “You never need to hide who you are from me. I accept this part of you. I know you’d never hurt me.”

Derek slowly pulls his clawed hand out and rests it against Stiles’ cheek. “Where did you come from?”

Stiles smiles; that smile that Derek swears could and will be the end of him; and kisses his lips ever so gently. “I’ve been here the whole time. Waiting for you to find me.”

And with that Stiles loses his virginity to Derek in his bed in a dark apartment across town from his two story house on Walnut street while his father works the overnight at the station and Scott sleeps soundly in his bed probably dreaming about Allison.

Derek works his fingers inside Stiles for what seems like hours before he pushes his long thick cock deep inside him. Stiles moans, and keens and whimpers at all the sudden flood of pain and emotion. Derek offers to take some pain from him but Stiles refuses. He needs to feel it. He doesn't want any part of this to be taken from him. He wants to remember every second. Every jolt of pain. Every stretch of his hole around Derek. Every kiss. Every sound that flows from their mouths.

When Stiles comes it’s like a thousand lightning bolts have passed through his body. He spurts white ropes of orgasm onto his stomach and Derek buries his face in his neck, biting down. It causes Stiles to feel like he’s close to another orgasm, but his body is too spent and tired so instead it just shakes and he cries out, grinding his teeth. The idea of Derek marking him, making him his, is too much emotion to take.

He feels tears stream down his face as his body begins to come down and Derek picks his head up, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open as his own orgasm is ripped from him. He howls, literally howls, as he empties inside Stiles. When he finally looks down at Stiles, eyes glowing amber and fangs extended, he sees that Stiles is crying.

His teeth return to normal and his claws retract, but his dick remains inside his lover. He leans down and licks the wetness off Stiles’ cheek. He keeps his lips there as Stiles trembles underneath him.

“Don’t leave me.” Stiles’ voice trembles as he speaks. “Please. Everyone I love leaves me.”

And there it is. Stiles’ declaration.

Derek buries his face in Stiles’ neck and wills his wolf to stay docile. He’s already gone too far with Stiles. He’s marked him. Made him his. If he lets this go on, any emotion longer, it’ll be too late.

It may already be.

They fall asleep, Derek still inside Stiles. Derek dreams of his family. Derek wants to believe Stiles is dreaming of his mother. 

* * *

 

_We are broken, we can't fix it; There's no cure for our condition…_

 

“Are you out of your FUCKING mind, Derek?” Laura’s angry voice comes over the line and Derek cringes. “Seriously, what were you thinking?”

“I wasn't, okay? You don't understand.” Derek explains.

“You think I’ve never felt lust before? That’s what this is, Derek. Lust. Your wolf came out and…”

“No.” He interrupts her. “No. It wasn't like that. I care about him.”

“Yeah? You care about him so much you fuck him and it has NOTHING to do with it being the night before the full moon?” His sister asks.

“You know I’m fully capable of controlling my shift.” He growls.

“This isn't about the shift, Derek. It’s about your primal instincts. Your need to mate. To breed. That’s all this was. I’m sure you care about him. Caring is your one tragic flaw. Do I need to remind you of what happened between you and that disgusting pedophile teacher?” Laura’s words are harsh. But true.

Derek’s made mistakes before. And he knows his sister is just trying to protect him. But she doesn’t know Stiles. Or what they have together. Stiles is...everything. He’s his balance. His anchor.

Jennifer wasn’t anything like that. All she was, was a mistake.

“This is nothing like Jennifer. And I didn't have sex with Stiles because I needed to mate on the full moon. It was because I…” Derek stops himself before he says it.

“Don’t you dare say it.” Laura warns. “You don’t love him. You’re lonely. But you won't be for long. 2 weeks, Derek. 2 weeks and you can leave that god forsaken town behind and come be with me. I have a pack here. You’ll be happy. You can start college out here. We can move on.”

Is that really what he wants now? He never once thought about not going to New York. It was everything to him. But now? Stiles was everything. The way he made Derek feel. Laura’s words are like knives in his throat. Yes, maybe he was lonely. But this is not what this is.

“Yeah.”

“Oh my God.” Laura whispers. “You’re thinking of staying there, aren't you?”

“No.” Derek barely gets the words out. He’s a horrible liar.

“Then you’re thinking of following him, wherever he goes.” Laura states matter of factly.

“No.” Derek lies again. “We’re just messing around.”

The words make him cringe. It pains him to not only lie to Laura but to himself.

“Then end it. Now. Before it’s too late. You need to leave there with no attachments. Follow the plan.” Laura pauses. “Don’t you want us to be family? Don’t you want a pack?”

“Yes.” And that’s the truth. He does. He needs his family back.

“Then cut your losses now. Don’t hurt this kid any more than you probably already have. I’ll see you in two weeks.”

The line goes dead and Derek’s cell phone smashes into a million pieces against his apartment wall.

* * *

 

_There's a white light and it's calling me and its promising ecstasy. But I don't wanna go to heaven, If you're going to hell; I will burn with you…_

 

Stiles stares at speckles of light casting in from his windows on the ceiling. It’s late, past midnight, and no matter how many sheep he counts or levels of Candy Crush he plays on his phone, he can’t fall asleep.

The full moon outside is blinding and he smiles, squirming a little in his small twin bed, thinking of Derek. He wonders what he’s doing. He told Stiles that tonight they couldn’t hang out. That even though Stiles trusts him and no matter how many times Stiles assured him it would be fine, Derek didn’t trust himself around Stiles.

Sexually.

That his wolf would take over every part of human aspect he had and possibly try to…

Stiles imagines himself as a werewolf. Fast, strong, mysterious. Just like Derek. Stiles huffs out a laugh. He’d probably be even more spastic than he is now.

So his Saturday was spent with Scott playing video games and taking a run around the neighborhood. When Scott asked Stiles why he wouldn’t be hanging with Derek tonight he just answered that Derek needed some ‘alone time’ to study for finals. That they are too distracted when they are together to study. Which mostly is the truth.

Except the small detail that Derek would probably be running around in the woods howling at the moon instead of studying.

But Stiles can’t sleep. All he thinks about is Derek. He used to day dream at night about what it would be like to finally be away from Beacon Hills. Studying at Stanford, meeting new people. Dating.

But now all there is, is Derek. He’s who he thinks about when he wakes up. All day at school. All night. He dreams about Derek. Dreams about what his life would be like years from now with him at his side. Living with him in his apartment. Doing his laundry.

Oh, yeah. Stiles has it BAD.

But Derek is leaving. He knew this when he got involved with him. And who is he to ask Derek to stay? Stiles knows he can’t go to New York. Not only would his dad have a heart attack but he worked too hard for too long to get into Stanford. He owes it to himself to go and enjoy it.

But how can he without Derek?

Stiles sighs, turning on his side.

He screams and flails, practically falling out of his bed when he sees Derek crouched in the window, his amber eyes glowing in the darkness.

“Fuck, Derek. Thank god my dad isn’t here. He’d think I was being murdered. Christ.” He sits up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “You okay? What are you doing here?”

All Stiles can hear is the heavy panting coming from Derek. He can faintly see the claws protruding from Derek’s fingers, clinging to the window sill.

“Der?” He stands.

“Don’t come near me.” Derek warns in a low growl.

Stiles stills. “Derek…”

“I was running. And I just...ended up here. I can’t stay away from you. I need to stay away from you.” Derek’s voice is trembling.

“You won’t hurt me.” Stiles says with reassurance. He believes it. He trusts Derek.

“Not intentionally, no. But the need to breed with you...it’s uncontrollable. I’ve never felt this. I’ve always been able to control myself and my shifts during the full moon. But with you...I need to possess you.” Derek explains.

“You do.” Stiles whispers.

Derek moans. “Don’t. Don’t. You don’t know what you’re saying. What you think it means…”

“It’s you. Forever.” Stiles steps forward. Derek snaps his teeth.

“STAY WHERE YOU ARE.” The wolf yells. It makes the walls shake. And Stiles’ dick hard.

“No.” Stiles spits back and walks to him confidently.

Derek finally falls into Stiles room, kneeling on the floor, head down, as if ashamed. Stiles kneels down in front of him, taking his face in his hands. His scruff now full blown fur on his cheeks and fangs hanging over his soft pink lips.

“Look at me, Derek.”

Derek’s eyes lift, amber and glowing. He’s breathing heavy, as if there is not enough oxygen in the world to fill his lungs. When Stiles leans in, Derek moves his head away. He shakes his head.

“Why won’t you let me see you?” Stiles asks, desperately trying to get Derek to look him in the eyes.

“You need to get away from me, Stiles. Humans and werewolves…it doesn’t work.” Derek’s voice is like a knife through Stiles heart.

“You’re not only a werewolf, Derek. It doesn’t define you.”

“It does!” Derek roars. “It’s who I am. Who I’ll always be. You’re just a human.”

“Just a human.” Stiles repeats. “I may be just a human, but so are you. Yes, you’re a growly, grumpy fang sporting, clawing wolf sometimes too, but you are human. You like X-men, and bacon cheeseburgers. You prefer Coke to Pepsi and you love your family. You’re kind and passionate and you’re so smart. Being a werewolf is just another part of your personality.”

Derek tries to catch his breath, the feeling of Stiles all around him. He can hear Stiles’ heartbeat, steady and perfect. Not one uptake. Every word from his mouth is the truth. He truly believes these things about Derek.

“I’ll only hurt you.” Derek admits.

“I think I’ll take my chances.” Stiles whispers, ghosting his lips over fang covered lips. Derek tries to pull away but Stiles pulls him in closer. “No. You’re not going anywhere.”

“If I fuck you…” Derek warns.

“What, you think I’m that easy?” Stiles jokes. “That you give me a little ‘grrr’ and I’m just gonna drop my panties for you?”

A small smile appears on Derek’s lips.

“There he is. There’s my Derek.” Stiles kisses him close mouthed. Derek kisses back gently.

“You done running through the woods howling for the night? Its only 1am.” Stiles asks, taking Derek’s hands in his.

“Come with me.” Derek whispers.

“What?” Stiles eyes widen. “Dude, I can’t run that fast. I didn’t even make the lacrosse team. All four years.”

“I don’t run around the whole night. It’s not about that.” Derek assures him.

“I won’t eat any bunnies.”

Derek full on laughs now, burying his head in Stiles shoulder. “I don’t eat bunnies.”

Stiles smiles, running his fingers through the back of Derek’s hair. “Okay. I’ll go. Let me get my sneakers on.”

* * *

 

_We are lost when we're together, but I'll follow you forever…_

 

Stiles settles himself on a huge hunk of rock overlooking the entire landscape of Beacon Hills. The full moon is illuminating the sky like a huge spot light shining down on him and Derek.

Derek settles behind him, putting his arm protectively around his waist. Stiles leans back against him, closing his eyes and taking in the quiet.

“I can almost like, feel its power.” Stiles pushes his face up toward the moon. Derek buries his face in the side of Stiles’ neck.

“Oh yeah?” Derek teases.

“Yes. Don’t make fun of me. I’m trying to take this in.” Stiles pauses. “So after you run and eat some squirrels or whatever, you just sit up here?”

“Yeah. My parents used to take us here. And I just can’t not come here on the full moon now.” Derek’s voice is gentle.

“But you’re gonna go to New York? And leave it behind?”

Derek sighs. “I’ll be with Laura. It’ll be ok.”

“I can understand, you know. Wanting to leave it all behind. Too painful.” Stiles intertwines his fingers with Derek’s across his chest. “I thought about it when I applied to colleges. But...I can’t leave my dad. He’s all I have left.”

Derek holds Stiles closer. “Stanford is lucky to have you.”

Stiles closes his eyes, willing away the feeling of tears welling in his eyes. “So is New York.”

“There’s such things as planes, you know. Trains. Cars. Motorcycles.” Derek reminds him, placing a kiss on his temple.

Stiles snorts. “Right. Me on a motorcycle.”

“I meant me, dumbass.”

Stiles shivers. “Don’t say shit like that to me, Derek. It’s already hard enough not to stick my hands down your pants every second I’m with you but picturing you on a motorcycle is making it just that much harder. No pun intended.”

Derek licks a long line up Stiles’ pale neck. “Who said anything about you having to NOT stick your hand down my pants every second?”

Stiles groans, turning himself in Derek’s arms. “You really are a horrible, horrible person.”

Derek nods once before capturing Stiles’ mouth with his own. “Shut up.”

* * *

 

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest. You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall. You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.  
Would you take me in, take me deeper now? How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?_

 

Derek’s lips are hot and wet against Stiles’ neck. He’s been sprawling open mouth kisses on his sensitive skin there for almost an hour since they returned from the cliff. Stiles is writhing underneath Derek’s hard, firm and more aggressive than normal body on his bed, as the rain begins to really pick up now outside the windows. Derek is on fire; the full moon surging energy throughout his body in ways he’s never felt before. This boy underneath him is his answer to every question he’s had his entire life.

His mother used to tell him when he was younger, when he was just learning to control his shifts that he needs to remember 3 things. When he feels out of control he should repeat this over and over to calm the wolf inside himself; there are 3 things that cannot be long hidden. The sun, the moon, the truth. Derek had never fully understood the meaning until now.

The sun guides him through the day; the moon guides his wolf on full moons; and the truth is here right now with sweaty skin smelling of innocence and freshly cut grass; flushed and smooth against his own heated body. Stiles is the truth. The truth about what Derek yearns for more than a pack. More than family. He yearns for love. Because Stiles can give him all that and more. Stiles is his pack. Stiles is his family now.

Stiles is the love he’s been searching for. What his wolf howls for on lonely nights.

Stiles is everything.

“Derek?”

Derek lifts his head, realizing he had stopped kissing Stiles pale skin and been breathing heavily against it instead. Derek blinks.

“Where did you go?” Stiles fingers brush his cheek softly and Derek’s eyes flutter shut.

“Sorry.”

“Mmm. It’s ok.” Stiles snuggles a bit beneath him and sighs happily. “You tired?”

Derek shakes his head, eyes reopening, pupils now blown. His hunger is back. His need. His want.

Stiles shudders and Derek wonders what the boy is thinking in this moment.  “I want you.” He whispers, as if reading Derek’s mind. Derek growls, placing a soft kiss to his mouth and rolls onto the bed next to him, flat on his stomach. He glances at Stiles whose eyes are now wide and staring intensely. He gets it. But he’s not moving.

“Derek…” He says finally, swallowing hard.

“It’s alright.” Derek moans gently. “I want you to.”

“I don’t…” Stiles shakes his head, suddenly embarrassed.

“You’re fine. I trust you.” Derek pushes his naked body against the mattress, rutting for friction on his heavy hard cock. “Please, Stiles.”

Derek feels a soft hand run from his back down to the curve of his ass. Derek’s wolf whimpers and soon lips follow the hand down.

“Jesus, Derek. I’m about to come already, how am I gonna…” Stiles voice is completely wrecked.

Derek doesn’t answer. He just continues to literally hump the bed as Stiles wanders his hands all over his skin. Every part of him is consumed by this boy. He needs him. He needs to feel him. Everywhere.

Derek doesn’t know if it’s the heat of the full moon illuminating his bedroom, the breeze coming in from the open windows, the sound of the rain tapping the roof, or the soft breathes of air Stiles is exhausting all over his naked skin, or the fact that in this moment, he’s never been happier in his entire life, but he can’t help but let the words escape his lips.

“Stiles…”

“Hmmm?” Stiles moves up from the curve of his spine where he was leaving feathering kisses and nuzzles Derek’s shoulder.

Derek swallows hard, his mouth dry. “I…I love you.”

Stiles stops breathing. Derek rolls onto his side to look at him. Stiles’ eyes are dark and wide with lust and confusion. And shock. Derek can hear his heart beating so hard and fast, Derek has to put his hand against Stiles’ chest to try and keep it from exploding.

“Stiles…?” Derek breathes out, searching his eyes for some sign of emotion other than confusion and shock.

Stiles finally breathes. “You…do?”

Derek nods.

Stiles closes his eyes and Derek can hear him trying to catch his breath. A small smile forms on his swollen lips and when his eyes reopen they are the most beautiful shade of honey brown Derek has ever seen. He leans down, nudging his nose against Derek’s affectionately.

“I love you, too. So fucking much.”

Derek kisses him, soft and perfect and he wonders if anything would ever feel this good again. If this moment could and would possibly be the best moment of his entire life.

Derek submits to Stiles, letting him inside in so many different ways.

Physically; Stiles long and impressive cock sliding in and out of him as the wolf inside him howls and aches for him and the human side of him falling more in love. Emotionally; as Stiles presses small open mouth kisses on Derek’s back as he fucks him, soothing him and comforting him as Derek opens up to him. And mentally; because as Stiles fills him up with his cum, Derek knows he is exactly where he needs and wants to be for the rest of his life. He loves Stiles. Humanly and animalistic.

When Stiles pulls out of him, his body and dick spent, he wraps his arms around Derek, pulling him close and letting the air coming in from the windows cool their scorching skin. Derek has to remember to breathe; forgetting for almost a moment that all of this is real.

Stiles hums happily and lets out a contented sigh as his heartbeat returns to its normal pitter patter and Derek feels his body relax against his. Derek knows he’s near sleep and he intertwines his fingers across his chest and let’s himself settle against Stiles. When their heartbeats join in unison, the last thing Derek hears before he finally drifts to sleep is Stiles voice in his neck murmuring soft ‘I love you’s.’

* * *

 

_You want a revelation; You want to get "right", but it's a conversation I just can't have tonight. You want a revelation; Some kind of resolution; You want a revelation..._

 

“YOU DID WHAT?”

Derek rubs his hand over his face. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to keep in contact with Laura every day considering he’s going to be with her every day once he gets to New York. But she called, asking how the full moon went but what she was really calling for was to make sure he had broken up with Stiles.

“I took him to the cliff.”

Laura sighs heavily. “Derek, please for the love of god, tell me he doesn’t know.”

Derek remains silent.

“Are you crazy? Like have you seriously lost your ever loving mind? I left you in Beacon Hills because I trusted you when you said you just wanted to finish high school-”

“I do!” Derek yells.

“But I also trusted that you could be alone and not run and tell every boy in skinny jeans our family secret!” Laura yells louder at her little brother.

“He deserved to know. And he isn’t going to tell anyone. I trust him.”

“Mmm. Just like Uncle Peter trusted that Kate chic? And wait what happened with that...oh right SHE BURNED OUR HOUSE TO THE GROUND AND KILLED OUR PARENTS.”

Derek cringes at the words. “Stiles isn’t a hunter. And he’s definitely not a killer. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Mmm hmm. So not only do you tell him you’re a werewolf, you take him to the place where mom and dad used to take us.” She pauses. “Derek, what are you doing?”

What IS he doing? He’s going against everything he was taught to do. Stiles has managed to break down every wall and every moral he had installed inside himself.

“I don’t know. I mean, I can’t explain it. I thought you were right, you know? Last night I shifted and I was running and I ended up at his bedroom window. I swore I was going to hurt him. Or at least fuck him.”

“Ugh, ew, please. No details. Not that I care who you fuck, I just don’t want to hear about it.” Laura pleads.

Derek smirks. “Right, sorry. Anyway, I was crazy. I had never been that out of control during a full moon before. But...he calmed me down. He touched me and I...” Derek shakes his head and rubs his hand down his face again. “I think he’s my anchor, Laura.”

“No.” Laura scolds him. “No. Your anchor is anger. It’s the Hale curse, remember?”

“Well, maybe curses can be broken.”

“Not this one, kiddo. Listen to me. This boy is not your anchor. He’s not your mate. He’s not even your prom date.”

Oh shit. Prom. Derek almost forgot. It’s not like Stiles and him talked about actually GOING to prom together but he knows Scott and Allison are going together and he knows how Stiles’ mind works. That he pictures them in matching tuxedos while his dad takes pictures by the mantle and...

“He’s just a kid you’re biding your time with. But it ends now. Derek you have to. Promise me. Do you want him to get hurt? What if the hunters realize that a Hale has a boyfriend? A human boyfriend at that? You think for one second that they wouldn’t go after him too? It’s bad enough I left you there alone, but now I have to worry about you putting other people in danger too?” Laura’s voice is almost…gentle. She’s worried, Derek knows that. Not just about him, but others in his path.

She’s right. Derek never thought about the fact that other hunters or shit, even other wolves, could smell Derek on Stiles and attack. Right now Derek is an omega. He’s a lone wolf with no pack. Other wolves would and could take full advantage of that. Stiles could get hurt or kidnapped or even...killed.

“Promise me, Derek. Say it. Say it’s over.”

Derek swallows, picturing Stiles’ smiling face. “It’s over.”

* * *

 

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? That’s alright, I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry? That’s okay cause I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie..._

 

Stiles hums as he grabs his Econ book from his locker. Yes, he’s humming. Sue him. He’s happy. More than happy. Content. Ecstatic. Enthralled.

He got into Stanford. He has a super hot boyfriend. He has his best friend who has the girl of his dreams. His dad is kicking ass at the station.

Everything is perfect.

His eyes lift to glance down the hallway and he sees Derek, still wearing that leather jacket in 80 degree weather, stalking down the hallway toward him. Stiles closes his locker and leans against it, waiting for his boyfriend to drop a kiss on his lips and walk him to class-

But Derek breezes right by him without a second look or breathe.

“Derek?” He calls.

Nothing. Not flinch. No acknowledgment at all.

“Derek!” He yells louder, sprinting around the oncoming traffic of classmates as he maneuvers along the hallway, following behind Derek. He gets outside the double doors and pretty much dead center in the middle of the quad before he catches him. He puts his hand on Derek’s arm, turning him fully around to face him.

“What the fuck, Derek?” Stiles whispers. Okay maybe that wasn’t as low as he thought it was.

“What do you want, Stiles?” Derek growls, unable to look at him in the eye. He’s looking around, almost concerned as to who is also around watching him talk to Stiles.

Stiles swallows. “I was waiting for you. You always–”

“I always what? Hold your hand and walk you to class? This isn’t some fairy tale romance.” Derek spits out, brushing Stiles’ hand off his arm and trudging through the quad on the way to the other side of the school.

What. No. No fucking way.

“Hey!” Stiles screams now, echoing. Derek doesn’t turn around. Stiles practically jumps on his back, but Derek is quick to react by grabbing his arm and heaving him away. His eyes are blazing amber and now it’s Stiles’ turn to look around to see who is watching.

“So what? That’s it? You’re trying to push me away so it’s not too hard when you go to New York?” Stiles yells. People are totally watching now.

“No, I just don’t want you. I fucked you, and you got you to fuck me.” Derek lowers his voice at the the last few words before practically shouting again. “It’s done.”

Derek’s words are seriously like a thousand knives in Stiles stomach. He wants to puke and cry and beat the shit out of Derek all in one. He feels tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“I don’t believe you.” Stiles whispers.

“Well, believe it. It was just to see if you were really gay or not. See if I could get you. I could. Mystery solved.” Derek shoves his hands in his jeans, looking around as if bored with this conversation.

Stiles shakes his head, swallowing down his need to burst into tears. “No, you’re lying. I know you–”

“YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW ME. NOW WE’RE DONE. YOU HEAR ME? DONE.” Derek howls before breaking through the crowd that has gathered and past the school and into the parking lot.

Stiles feels his chest tightening and his hands begin to shake. His vision gets blurry and he can faintly hear the sound of Scott’s voice behind him calling his name. He’s having a panic attack.

The last thing he sees is Derek smiling before it all goes black.

* * *

 

_I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like; And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe…_

 

No matter how many times Derek punches or kicks the large rocks and trees surrounding the cliff, the pain inside his chest doesn’t lessen. No matter how bloody and cut up his hands gets, the tears just won’t stop escaping his swollen eyes.

What did he do? He just destroyed the only person who ever really gave a shit about him. He spewed the worst things he could think of to hurt Stiles the most. His still hidden fear of what people thought of the fact that he was gay. The fact that he just aired their dirty laundry of them having sex to the whole school and pretty much calling Stiles a whore for having sex with him.

He embarrassed him. Humiliated him.

And hurt him worse than Derek ever though he was capable.

No matter what physical pain he had ever endured or will ever endure as a werewolf, the pain of human emotion is far worse.

He can feel Stiles pain. It radiates all through Beacon Hills and the preserve into Derek’s heart. Derek falls to his knees and begins to howl.

It feels like he’s lost his family all over again.

* * *

 

_Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in, So shame on me now. Flew me to places I'd never been, Till you put me down. Oh I knew you were trouble when you walked in, So shame on me now. Flew me to places I'd never been, Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground..._

 

“Stiles?”

The faint knock on his bedroom door awakens him from his 27th episode of hypnotic crying. Stiles swallows and wipes his nose.

“Yeah?”

His dad leans against the doorframe, dish towel in hand. “Why don’t you come downstairs and eat something?”

Stiles lets out a half laugh. “Dad, the thought of eating right now makes me want to kill myself more than I already want to.”

“Stiles…” The sheriff sits on the edge of the bed and brushes Stiles’ hair off his forehead. “Don’t say that. I know you’re hurt-”

“Hurt?” Stiles demands. “This isn’t hurt, dad. Hurt is when someone says they don’t like your shirt or doesn’t return a phone call. This is…” Stiles squeezes his eyes shut, Derek’s words still ringing in his ears. “This is crucifixion.”

His father sighs. “I know it feels like that now. But in a few months you’ll be at Stanford and there will be plenty of other guys who–”

“I DON’T WANT ANY OTHER GUYS, OKAY, DAD? I WANT DEREK. I’LL ALWAYS WANT DEREK.” Stiles rolls over onto his side, facing away from his father. “Please get out. I’m sorry, I just need to be by myself. For like...ever.”

His dad nods, getting up slowly from his bed. He turns to him, hand on the doorknob and looks back at his son. “Okay, but believe me, son, this isn’t the last time you’ll ever be in love. There will be other guys and you will love them with just as much passion and strength as you did Derek.”

His bedroom door closes and Stiles closes his eyes as more tears cascade down his cheeks. He isn’t sure how tears are actually still forming; how he has any left to shed.

When he woke up after his fainting spell from his panic attack, he was in the nurse’s office on the small cot she keeps in the back for extreme cases.  Scott was next to him, eyes downshifted and worrisome.

The nurse let him go home; telling him the agony of a broken heart is nothing to deal with while listening to Coach Finstock trying to teach Economics. Plus she knows Stiles. She knows about his panic attack history. She knows this isn’t just some case of not wanting to take a quiz.

He doesn’t even remember driving home. He knows he ended up outside Derek’s apartment complex, but the Camaro was nowhere in sight. Maybe he left for New York early. But just in case he didn’t, Stiles scribbles a note on an old gas receipt and sticks it to his door with a chewed up piece of Trident.

_You’ll always be everything to me._

It’s after eight now, the moon shining bright into his window which makes his chest ache even more. He was so stupid. How could someone like Derek; beautiful, smart, intriguing, werewolf Derek; ever want him? Scrawny, pale, fragile, human him. He didn’t. He doesn’t.

Everything they shared; every ounce of truth he put into whatever it was they had; meant nothing. But didn’t it? It had to have meant something. Derek told him his deepest secret. Trusting that Stiles would never tell. And he won’t. Ever. If Derek takes nothing from what they had, he hopes he at least trusted in someone.

Maybe that was the problem. Derek trusted him too much.

Stiles will never know.

He’ll finish his last week of senior year, graduate, have a party with his family and friends and then leave for Stanford early. He’ll join some groups, meet some people, and soon Derek Hale will be a distant memory.

But as another wave of agony and pain wash over him and he wails into his pillow, punching his mattress over and over from the crippling pain inside his chest and stomach, Stiles knows Derek Hale will never be just a memory.

He’ll be inside him. Forever.

* * *

 

_Memories like fingertips; I can’t forget the curves of your body…_

 

It had been 5 days. An entire week and Stiles hadn’t seen or heard from Derek. He hadn’t been to school and every time Stiles had driven past his apartment complex, the Camaro had been gone.

Stiles believes he went to New York early. He was graduating, it’s not like he needed to continue on with his class. Or take finals, Stiles figures. And even with Prom tomorrow, Derek never seemed like the type to attend such an event. Stiles had planned on asking him; suggesting it during a late night make out session; but never got the chance.

Stiles spent these 5 nights crying, sitting out in the woods in the dirt at Derek’s burnt down house, and even sitting on the cliff overlooking all of Beacon Hills that Derek took him to with the hopes of running into him.

But Derek was nowhere to be found. Probably because if Stiles knows him as well as he’d like to think he does, it’s because Derek doesn’t want to be found.

So it’s been 5 days of finals, yearbook signings, and the buzz of excitement that filled the halls of Beacon Hills High School that Stiles has not been partaking in.

Scott’s been trying to cheer him up, like the bestest friend he is. First it was his favorite candy, Twizzlers, that in turn just reminded him of Derek. Then it was video games, but Stiles just couldn’t get into it. Then Scott just opted for reminding him how much better off he was without Derek.

“You got into Stanford, Stiles. Do you have any idea how much your life is gonna change once you’re there?” Scott tells him as they push open the double doors of their high school for the last time.

The halls are noisy; teenagers everywhere, yelling and dancing excitedly. Some are even crying like they are going to miss these halls and teachers, etc. Fuck that, Stiles thinks. He couldn’t get away fast enough. He’ll be happy when this place is just a distant memory.

Stiles frowns and turns to his friend. “How would you feel if Allison suddenly broke up with you, told you she used you and never gave a shit about you?” He cocks an eye brow when Scott suddenly makes a pained expression. “Exactly. So me going to Stanford and getting out of this school isn’t going to do shit for me other than give me somewhere else to think about Derek.”

Stiles stops at his locker and begins to throw stuff into a nearby garbage can. Notebooks filled with endless notes that helped him with his 3.9 GPA. Notes exchanged between him and Scott. A locker filled with memories. He pauses, brushing his fingers lightly over letters in black permanent marker that not only would be in this locker for years to come but also on his heart forever.

**SS+DH 444**

Derek had actually written it. He was waiting for Stiles to stuff his books in his locker before lunch and when the marker fell out of his locker, Derek picked it up and wrote it. When Stiles saw it he cocked his head but smiled.

_“What’s 444?”_

_Derek snapped the cap back on the marker and handed it over. “It’s something my mom and dad used to sign all their anniversary and birthday cards with to us kids. It means forever, for always, for the rest of my life.”_

_Stiles swallowed hard, finding it incredibly difficult to breathe in that moment. “Oh. I...thanks.”_

_Derek had looked at his writing and then back at Stiles. “This way the next person who has this locker will remember our epic love story.” He gave Stiles a small smile._

It had been one of the best moments of Stiles’ life.

Now it seems like it was just a story he made up in his head. Like none of it ever happened. Derek was just a figment of his imagination.

As Stiles chucks the last remnants of his high school experience into the trash, he notices a woman standing in the middle of the hallway. Leather pants with black high heels and a black wife beater on under a woman’s tight leather jacket. Long light brown hair and piercing green eyes that reminded him of...never mind.

She’s standing perfectly still as people rush by her. Some bump her shoulder and she makes strong angry faces when they do, but she never moves. Suddenly, she literally sniffs the air around her like…

Stiles hears Scott say his name next to him and he tears his eyes away from the woman.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Scott motions over his shoulder and Stiles nods, slamming his locker shut.

Without being able to take one step he is suddenly grabbed by the back of his sweatshirt, turned around roughly and slammed against his old locker. He winces, the pain of being manhandled against hard metal, coursing up and through his back.

When he opens his eyes he is staring into glowing red. There’s a low growl forming in the mystery woman’s chest as she digs her claws into Stiles’ bicep. Then he knows….

“Where is my brother?” Laura Hale demands.

* * *

 

_Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones  
I'm talking loud not saying much. Bulletproof, nothing to lose…_

 

“Ow, ow ow owowowowowowowow,” Stiles yells as he is dragged, literally dragged, out the high school by his arm and into the parking lot. This is definitely Derek’s sister. “Can I have my arm back now, please?”

Laura lets go and glares at him. “Where is Derek?”

“How the fuck should I know!?” Stiles brushes off his sweatshirt and looks around at everyone who is staring at them, including Scott, who is standing close by in case Stiles needs him. Now that’s a friend. Someone who would go against scary Laura Hale for his best friend.

“Because,” Laura smacks him upside the head. “you’re his boyfriend.”

Stiles laughs as he rubs the side of his head. “No. Actually I’m not.”

“What.” She steps back. “Aren’t you Stiles?”

He swallows. “Yes. And your brother was my boyfriend, I think. I...whatever. Yes, I’m Stiles but no, I’m not with Derek anymore and I don’t know where he is.”

Laura pales and swallows hard. “Then he really is missing?”

“What!?” Stiles steps forward. “What exactly do you mean, missing?”

“Missing. As in not answering my phone calls, or texts or emails. Missing as in not at his apartment. You know missing as in NOT FUCKING HERE!” She screams, her voice a low thunderous boom through the school parking lot.

Now everyone is staring.

“I’ve been everywhere.” She whispers.

“Me too.” Stiles admits.

“What happened?” She asks, like she actually might give a shit.

“He broke up with me. Told me that he just used me and that I needed to get over it because it meant nothing to him.” Stiles voice cracks around the words as they flow from his mouth. Laura’s eyes widen and she shakes her head.

“He is such a fucking idiot.” She laughs and runs her hands through her long jet black hair. “Okay, let me think. He has to be somewhere.”

“He’s probably in New York.” Stiles tells her, confused. He’s not sure why she’s even here. Derek hasn’t been to school in days. He probably got to New York when Laura was getting here.

Laura huffs and shakes her head at the teenager. “You’re as much of an idiot as he is.”

“Excuse me? I fucking gave him EVERYTHING. My heart, my trust, my BODY. And he just used me and tossed me aside. He’s a fucking asshole. He’s a sociopath!” Stiles argues. His heart is racing and he feels like a panic attack is about to come on at any minute.

“Stiles, he’s not in New York.” Laura rolls her eyes at him and takes out her cell phone. She’s typing away and chewing on her lower lip as she thinks.

“And why not?” Stiles asks, eyeing her fingers as they fly over the buttons. She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t even acknowledge him. “Hey!” He grabs her phone from her hand and she gives him a growl and a flash of the Hale amber. “You don’t scare me. I’ve been with your brother on a full moon.” She winces. “Now tell me why Derek wouldn’t be in New York. It’s all he talked about. Being with you, starting over.”

“Yeah, that was before he met you.” She takes her phone back and Stiles doesn’t protest.

He just stares at her. Her eyes are gentle as she sighs heavily and looks at him.

“I thought I knew what was best for him. That being with me in New York with our...kind, would make everything better. And even when he told me he’d met you, even if he sounded so...happy. The first time since our parents died. Even then I told him it wasn’t right. That he couldn’t have any attachments here. But he fell in love, Stiles. He fell in love with you and I…” She looks down, almost ashamed.

When she looks back up into Stiles’ eyes, they are green with hints of tears in the corners. “You wanna know why he can’t be in New York, Stiles? Because you’re not in New York. There is no way he’d ever leave where you are.”

* * *

 

_No matter how many nights did you lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain. Where did you go?  
Where did you go?_

 

Stiles is pacing the floor, wearing a hole in the shag carpeting, chewing on his nails. Laura had left him at the school parking lot stating she had one more place to check for her brother before she literally was going to put out a missing wolf report amongst all the nearest packs in the area.

She didn't want to have to get them involved; it was too risky with hunters nearby. Stiles wasn't even aware hunters were still around after they had managed to kill almost the entire Hale family, but Laura assures him that they are in fact still lurking; keeping an eye on Derek. She also assures Stiles that they also know who he is by now.

So here Stiles is, unable to relax, to contain his heart inside his chest on so many different levels. He doesn't expect Derek back with him. He doesn't expect anything from him anymore, but he just wants to make sure Derek is safe. What if the hunters HAD gotten him? It would be all Stiles’ fault. Derek had warned him. Humans and wolves don't mix. It wasn’t safe for him. But Stiles was selfish, and in the face of not caring about his own safety, he may have cost Derek his.

He keeps looking at his phone, willing it to ring or beep or anything. But there’s just dead radio silence in his room, in his head. Everywhere.

This should be the happiest time of his life.

But all he wants to do right now, is die.

* * *

 

_Trapped inside this twisted circle; It ain't right but it's eternal_

 

Laura’s high heels squish into the soft grass as she makes her way up the hill. She can already hear her brother’s heartbeat and when she reaches the top she can see his dark hair. She sighs with relief.

When she gets closer, she wants to throw her arms around him and sob into his shoulder at how happy she is that he’s okay.

But instead she opts for smacking him hard on the side of his head. He growls low in his chest, his eyes flashing amber at her. She frowns.

“How long have you been up here?” She asks, setting herself down next to her brother.

He shrugs. “Days, I guess.”

Laura sighs and traces her fingers over the imbedded lettering on the tombstone in front of them. “Hey, Mom.”

Derek chokes back a sob and looks down at his hands. “I fucked up, Laura.”

Laura swallows and takes her brother’s hand. “No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.” Derek is crying now. “I hurt him. I love him and I hurt him so badly. He hates me.”

Laura huffs, shaking her head. ”I can assure you that kid does not hate you.”

Derek’s head whips to look at her. “You saw him?”

Laura nods. “Yeah, and I have to say Der, he’s the last thing I ever imagined you falling for. I mean I guess he’s cute in that little red riding hood sort of way, but he’s so skinny. I mean how did you not break the poor kid in half?”

“Wait, hold up. You talked to him? What did he say?” Derek begs.

“That you broke his heart. Which you did, I’m not denying that guilt from you, but it’s fixable.” She assures her little brother.

“No. You didn't see his face. I destroyed him.”

Laura nods. “I know. But he loves you. I can feel it. It like, vibrates out him.” She pauses. “He’s it, you know.”

“He’s what?” Derek asks.

Laura winces. The truth is like poison in her throat, but she owes Derek the truth.

Laura swallows hard. “Your mate.”

Derek’s eyes widen. “You think?”

Laura again visibly winces. This is one of the hardest things for her. To let Derek go. To let him make his own decisions. Derek is staring at her, yearning and waiting for the next words to flow from her mouth. She can feel the anxiety and hope pouring out of him.

“I know. Which is why I...Jesus, I can't believe I’m telling you this.” She looks into her brother’s eyes. “You should be with him. I think you should stay.”

Derek pulls back, looking at his sister with questionable eyes. “No, but...what about you? About rebuilding the Hale pack?”

Laura gives him a gentle smile and runs her fingers through the front of her brother’s dirty hair. “You can start your own pack. With him. You deserve it. You deserve him. I was just too selfish to see it until now.”

“But what if it’s too late?” Derek whispers.

“It’s not. Just prove to him how much you love him. Tell him you want to be where he is. No matter where it is.” She touches her brother’s face. “I promise you.”

Derek hugs his big sister with all his might. They cry together in front of their parents’ graves for the first time in a long time. In a way Laura is letting Derek go just like she had to with their parents, but she knows, somehow, Derek will be alright.

* * *

 

_Boy, don't you worry you'll find yourself  
Follow your heart and nothing else_

 

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” Stiles grumbles as he lets Scott knot the tie around his neck. His best friend smiles at him.

“You have to go to Prom, Stiles. It’s a rite of passage. And it’s our last hoorah before we both go off to college. You’re gonna dance like an idiot and have a good time with your friends. Hey, I bet Danny will dance with you.” Scott winks at him.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I want. A pity dance.” Stiles turns to look at himself in the mirror.

His eyes are still swollen and bloodshot from crying for a week straight. Even after Laura had texted him with the cryptic yet informative sentence of; Found him, he’s ok; Stiles still cried himself to sleep last night. And in the shower this morning. And before Scott got there.

“Maybe a pity grind too, you never know.”

Stiles glares at Scott through the mirror. “I look ridiculous.”

“No, you actually look pretty damn dashing.” The Sheriff’s voice travels through his room and Stiles turns to his father leaning against the door jamb of his room. “I think I did pretty well.”

Stiles sighs. “Did you put Scott up to this too? Making me go to this awful event?”

“I just so happen to agree with my second son here, Stiles. You need to go and have a good time.” John Stilinski steps into his son’s room and brushes his hands down Stiles’ suit jacket and gives him a warm smile. “Your mother would have been so proud of you.”

“Jeez Dad, it’s not even graduation yet. It’s just prom.” Stiles rolls his eyes but the mention of his mother makes his chest ache.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m still proud of you. That you’re going tonight. That you’re showing him that he didn't break you.”

Stiles turns away from his dad, grabbing his wallet and cell phone off his dresser. “Dad, Derek’s long gone.”

The Sheriff nods. “Okay. Well, promise me you’ll try and have a good time tonight.” He gives him a pointed look.

“I’ll try.” Stiles sighs. He takes one more look at himself in the mirror and tries to smile. It’s pathetic, but it’s a start.

* * *

 

_I wish I knew what you were looking for  
I might have known what you would find_

 

Derek had been pacing on the sidewalk for an hour. He had it all planned out. Exactly what he was going to say. Quoting songs and movies with sappy lines that would make Stiles swoon and cry and fall back into his arms. But now, in the face of the inevitable showdown, he seems to have lost all coherent thought.

When the front door suddenly opens he considers hiding in a nearby bush. But he knows that won't accomplish anything so he freezes; standing so still he thinks possibly whoever has opened the door won't see him. Like he’s camouflaged.

“Derek, why don’t you come on inside?” The Sheriff yells from the porch.

Derek stiffens even more, if that is even possible. He just stares at Stiles’ father before finally nodding and slowly moving up the walkway toward the house. When he finally reaches the front door, the Sheriff has moved to one of the wicker chairs on the porch. He nods for Derek to take the seat next to him. Derek sits but remains silent. He wrings his hands together, his heart hammering away in his chest.

He waits for it; the screaming, the possible threatening with his gun from the Sheriff. But there's just silence for a long time. Derek doesn't know what to make of it. He wants to ask if Stiles is inside. He wants to ask if Stiles hates him. He wants to say something but he can’t bring himself to open his mouth.

When the Sheriff finally speaks, it surprises Derek and makes him jump a little out of his skin.

“I’m not sure what happened between you and Stiles. I got bits and pieces from him in between him crying or screaming or throwing things around his room.” He pauses, sneaking a look at Derek. “But honestly, it doesn't matter what happened. I just have one question.”

Derek looks up and nods at him.

“Are you planning on hurting my son again?”

Derek swallows and closes his eyes. “Do I plan on it? No. But honestly Sheriff-”

“John. Call me John, Derek.”

This surprises him, but Derek just takes a breath and continues. “Honestly I probably will. I’ll probably make a ton of mistakes. With him, with school, with jobs, with everything in my life. But the thing I can honestly promise is that I will do everything in my power to make sure Stiles is safe and happy. That’s all I can tell you right now. It’s all I got figured out.”

John Stilinski nods and stands up from the old creaky wicker chair. “Come on inside. I think I have something that will fit you.”

Derek looks up. “Fit me?”

“Well you can't go to the prom looking like that.” John gives him a small smile. “Come on.” He pats Derek on the back. “You still have time.”

* * *

 

 _And it's something quite peculiar_  
Something that shimmering and white  
Leads you here despite your destination  
Under the milky way tonight

 

There are glittery dresses and hairspray and undone ties floating all around him. Stiles is on the dance floor, dancing, but barely, with Danny as Scott and Allison laugh and hold each other nearby. He wants to vomit. He wants to punch them and everyone else in the face tonight. But he won't. He will do this for his father to prove he’s not suicidal or going off the deep end and he can still be a normal high school graduate.

Danny is smirking at him but Stiles barely notices. He wants no part of some dry hump on the dance floor and a possible hand job in the limo on the way home. He wants to dance a few more songs with his best friend and then go home. He went. He danced. He drank punch. It’s over.

When a slow song starts up, Scott and Allison’s arms automatically go around each other and Danny reaches for Stiles arms, but he shakes his head. “I’m sitting this one out.”

Danny nods, a look of rejection on his face, but also a look of understanding. Danny knows. Danny’s been there and honestly Stiles doesn't begrudge Danny for possibly trying to get him to feel better; trying to make him forget for just a little while. But that's now how Stiles operates. If he can't have the person he wants, he wants no one. It’s a flaw. Some may call it endearing.

Stiles just calls it idiotic.

As the lights dim lower and it’s harder and harder to see and move around the room, Stiles takes that as his cue to leave. He had enough. He had danced enough. Smiled enough. He did his duty. He didn't care who was going to be prom king (Jackson Whittemore) or prom queen (Lydia Martin); he just didn't care.

He wanted to go home, get in bed and sleep until it was time to go to Stanford. Scott keeps talking about going camping, going to Disney, doing all these things before college starts, but whatever happens this summer, all Stiles needs to concentrate on is forgetting Derek Hale. Forgetting his eyes. His smile. His adorable bunny teeth. His voi–

“You’re everything to me too.”

–ce.

It’s like a dream. The way the lights are glistening around the room. The softness of the music in the air. All of it just seems like a dream, including the gentle sound of Derek’s voice behind him; so close Stiles can almost feel it against his neck.

He doesn't turn around. Because if it is a dream, he never wants it to end.

“Stiles.”

There it is again. The haunting dream trying to ruin Stiles where he stands.

But then like a ghost in a fog, Derek is right there. Close enough to touch. Close enough to scream and slap.

Close enough to kiss.

“Don’t.” Stiles pleads.

“Don't what?” Derek’s ghost whispers.

“Don't let this be a dream.”

Ghost Derek smiles, reaching out to cup Stiles’ cheek and it takes his breath away. He wants to cry. He wants to break down sobbing.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles asks. “And where did you get that suit? It looks like-”

“Your dad let me borrow it.” Derek smirks.

“My dad gave you a suit to wear. To prom.” Stiles repeats the words slowly, just in case he got them wrong when they flowed from Derek’s mouth.

Derek nods.

“But you still didn't tell me what you're doing here.” Stiles tries to keep his voice firm, but it’s all over the place. Quivering with every syllable. “Why aren't you with Laura? In New York?”

“I’m exactly where I want to be.” Derek reaches for Stiles but he flinches and pulls away. Derek swallows hard, nodding. He gets it.

“That’s it? You show up to prom and expect me to just fall back into your arms like nothing happened? Like some fucking John Hughes film?” Stiles yells. Okay, people are looking now. Including Scott.

“You’re right.” Derek inhales. “I fucked up. I...God I had this entire speech planned, you know? It sounded perfect in my head. It would be everything you’d want to hear and more. And yeah in my head you forgave me. But I know you won’t. But I’m sorry, Stiles. I’m so fucking sorry that I let my sister make my decisions for me.”

Stiles doesn’t flinch.

Derek wants to touch him. Hold him. Kiss him. He knows he’s better at showing his feelings that way. If Stiles could just FEEL what’s inside him…

Derek sighs. “I know I humiliated you. I knew if I told you it was just over, you wouldn’t believe me. I had to…”

“Destroy me. Yeah, I know.” Stiles’ voice is raw and low.

“I did, I know that. But it was the only way. I was scared, Stiles. For you and for me. There are hunters out there, you saw what they did to my family. If they got wind of you and me, they could–“ Derek can’t get the words out.

“I knew the risks the second you told me what you were, Derek. And I didn’t care. I wanted you. I…” Stiles swallows hard. “I loved you no matter the cost.”

“I was just trying to keep you safe. And with Laura barking in my ear, literally, about you being human and New York and pack and...I was stupid. I let my own fear and my sister get into my head.”

“Well to be fair, Laura Hale is one scary bitch.” Stiles tells him. Derek laughs. Stiles musters a small smile.

“But I’m here.” Derek begins again. “Laura is back in New York and I have no intention of following her out there.”

“But…” Stiles gives him a confused look. “But your pack. Your family.” Stile whispers. “It’s important to you.”

“Not as important as you. You’re it, Stiles. You’re it for me. And even if you don't forgive me, even if you tell me it’s really over, I’m still not going. I finally opened all those letters from the colleges I applied to. I got into some really good colleges here in California. So no, it won't matter whether or not you take me back. I’ll be here. Because running was never the answer. From you, from where I came from. And even if we never talk again, you gave me that. You gave me the strength to let go and move on with my life. I just hope you’ll be in it.” Derek pauses, taking one last breath. “I love you, Stiles.”

Stiles feels the tightness in his chest. He feels the rise of sobs forming in his esophagus. It’s everything he wished for Derek. Being able to live his own life. To never forget what happened to him but take the loss and turn it into something great.

“I know, whatever you do, you’ll be great, Derek.” Stiles tells him. He can see the pain from around Derek’s eyes and when he nods, Stiles feels his world shatter around him. “But I’m not sure I can trust you, again. What you did…what we had…I just don’t know, Derek.”

“I know how much I scared you. I know I owe you so much more than this apology. But I promise I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. If you’ll let me.”

Stiles looks down, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He shakes his head, unable to form words. There are none. He’s torn between a world with Derek whom he doesn’t know if he can trust anymore, and a world without him.

Derek leans in, kissing his cheek so lightly, Stiles thinks it may not have even happened. But that’s the thing about Derek. He feels him even when he’s not there.

“Okay.” Derek whispers. “Good luck, Stiles. I hope you find everything you’re looking for.” He whispers against Stiles’ ear. And with one small turn he is gone again, snaking by some people dancing, some people staring.

Stiles feels the panic rise inside him. The room is spinning. It’s happening again. He looks at Scott who gives him a pained look. Derek is almost out of sight.

He’s about to lose him. Again. But how can he just forgive him? After what he did? How does Stiles know he won’t do it again the next time Laura disapproves of Derek having a human boyfriend? Or what if hunters DO come into town and Derek pushes him away because he’s scared Stiles will get hurt? He knows he wouldn’t be able to live through that again.

But NOT having Derek in his life?

Stiles future flashes before him. Stanford. Grad school. His first job. All without Derek. His chest aches and his hands begin to shake. No…

He…

“WAIT.” He screams, sprinting through the crowd of people, whom are definitely staring now. But Derek can't hear him. When Stiles finally reaches him he practically jumps on his back. Derek turns, eyes wide.

“Wait.” Stiles is trying to catch his breath as Derek searches his face for answers to questions neither of them have asked yet.

“Stiles, I…”

“Shut up. You owe me. You…I expect begging. And groveling. And presents! Lots and lots of presents. All the time. Left at my doorstep.” Stiles wags a finger in Derek’s face, half smiling.

Derek smiles, stepping further into Stiles personal space. “Presents every day. I promise.”

Stiles wraps his arms around Derek’s neck and kisses him with everything he’s got. He puts every ounce of pain and mistrust and sadness into the kiss. He also puts every single piece of his heart and his soul into it too.

He puts his anger, his fear of the unknown and also his forgiveness into this kiss with Derek.

And Stiles can feel Derek give everything right back.

They can hear clapping and whooping around them as they make out and make up right there on the prom dance floor. And as confetti falls from the sky like some God awful 80’s romance, both Stiles and Derek smile against each other’s lips.

Yeah, they have a long way to go.

John Hughes did not write their story.

But Stiles and Derek know they are on their way to writing their own.

* * *

 

**Epilogue:**

 

_Now I’ll be bold, as well as strong. And use my head alongside my heart…_

 

“Ugh.” Stiles drops the last black garbage bag onto the floor and it echoes through the mildly empty room. “I think that’s the last of it.”

His father is beside him, surveying the room. “Pretty decent for freshman housing.”

Stiles wipes the sweat off his brow and nods. “I think I’ll be happy here.”

His dad smiles at him. “I’m really proud of you, Stiles.”

“Aw, shucks, Dad.” He moves in for a hug, embracing the Sheriff with enthusiasm. They hug, maybe a little too long, but neither of them seem to mind. It’s Stiles first time away from home, and under the circumstances…

“When is your roommate getting here?” His dad asks with a raised eyebrow. Stiles smiles and before he can open his mouth to answer, he hears the familiar voice floating up the hallway.

“Well I didn’t tell you to wear heels. You knew you were helping me move.” The grumpy voice makes Stiles blush. He can’t help it. His voice still makes his knees weak.

“I’m aware of that, Derek. What I didn’t know was that I’d be walking up 4 flights of stairs. This is Stanford for Christ’s sake. They can’t afford an elevator?” Laura Hale appears in the doorway of their new dorm room with a scowl across her face and a large box in her arms. And there are indeed, black high heels on her feet. Stiles can’t help but laugh. She frowns harder at her brother’s mate.

“Let me help you with that, Laura.” The sheriff grabs the box from her hands and she wipes them on her designer jeans.

“Thank you, John.”

Derek drops two large duffle bags onto the ground and gives Stiles a shy smile. He honestly cannot believe this is actually happening. He’s at Stanford. With Stiles. And somehow, by the power of Laura Hale, they got roomed together.

It took a lot of convincing on John Stilinski’s part to let it happen, but he finally agreed. Stiles WAS 18 now after all. And even though Derek turns 20 in just a few short days, he decided to put his trust in them. Derek had spent all summer convincing Stiles’ father he was indeed making up for what he did to Stiles and also that he was in fact staying in Beacon Hills and with Stiles.

They had to promise that Stiles’ GPA would not go below 3.5 and they would come home every holiday.

So here they are, piling their stuff into a small 2 person room on the freshman campus of Stanford. About to start yet another chapter in their already crazy rushed story.

“Come on, Laura. I have a case of water and some snacks left in the car I wanna bring up for these boys.” John winks at his son as Laura growls low in her chest at the thought of stairs, once again. But she follows him, closing the door behind her.

Derek smiles at Stiles. “Hey.” He says gently.

“Hi.”

They’re both nervous. This is huge. Living together. Going to college together. Stiles almost begins to panic. What is they aren’t ready? What if this is the biggest mistake of their lives? What if they break up and then they have to live together and then it’s awkward and Derek regrets not going to New York to be with Laura and what if he can’t adjust to college life as a werewolf and-

“Stiles. Breathe.” Derek smirks down at his boyfriend.

“You sure about this?” Stiles asks. “There’s still time to back out.”

Derek shakes his head, pulling Stiles roughly against him by wrapping his long fingers around his small wrist. “I’m exactly where I should be.”

Stiles buries his face into Derek’s warm chest. “I love you.” He mumbles. He can hear Derek’s heart begin to race. It mirrors Stiles’.

Stiles feels Derek’s Adam’s apple bob against his forehead as he swallows.

“I love you too.”

 

_THE END_

 

[ ](https://www.mediafire.com/?0f7hp376vc39904)

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**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Art] A little less Pretty in Pink, a little more Lil' Red Riding Hood](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3218036) by [Marple_Juice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marple_Juice/pseuds/Marple_Juice)




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